


Course Correction

by R_Armchair



Series: Co-Captains: Time Travel Edition [1]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Captain Marvel (2019), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: A Steve for Every Season, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Male-Female Friendship, Middle Aged Steve, Podfic, Podfic & Podficced Works, Podfic Length: 3-3.5 Hours, Romance, Time Travel, Time travel-musical chairs edition, Vignette, normal steve, old steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:47:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 28,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21947563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_Armchair/pseuds/R_Armchair
Summary: Carol Danvers spends a lifetime trying to find the value in friendship and where it intersects with love.
Relationships: Carol Danvers/Steve Rogers
Series: Co-Captains: Time Travel Edition [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1580851
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	1. Under

**Author's Note:**

> This specifically has a Teen rating. It can be read as a standalone work (for anyone uninterested in M or E ratings)
> 
> If you _have_ read [Change and Adaptation, ](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1449316) then you can decide whether or not it’s related.
> 
> But it definitely came from the thought “what would an alternate(bad) ending have looked like?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If want to sit back and listen:  
> [ Click me for the mp3 ](https://www.dropbox.com/s/jywhkfw1q86efs5/CCPart1.mp3?dl=0)

Carol had lived one-hundred-and-thirty-one years.Far longer than any human deserved. She’d also spent one-hundred-and-seven of them waiting for this moment.This choice. Of course, she hadn’t known she was waiting.If she’d returned to the beginning, she could’ve never expected the outcome.All she’d dreamt of was _flight_.But when she thought back on her memories — scrambled by time, blows to the head, and one instance of mind control — there were so few of flying.Disjointed as they were, they all centered around people.One person in particular.How she’d stumbled, tripped, plunged, fallen, raced, and thrown herself down a path to meet him.

And still, she was unsure of her answer.

**PART** **1:** **UNDER**

_Beta 1989_

“This is going to be a little different than you’re used to, Danvers,” a man wearing a black suit said.

He was directing Carol through a series of hallways in the middle of a base she’d never heard of.Top Secret, and full of Secret Agents just like children’s cartoon.While she’d agreed to join a new program at her government’s request, she hadn’t thought she’d literally be pulled into a van and driven to the middle of nowhere.There were mountains, mesas, valleys and a whole lot of nothing on the way.The building the suited man had greeted her at seemed portable. The base had looked liked shipping containers set up by increasing size, ending with a hangar at the far end.

This appearance was deceptive.Majority of the facility was underground, which was where the hallway they currently stood was located.

“I can see you’re bothered.But we don’t use titles here.Captain, General, Doctor, Professor.All of it’s useless here as everyone is at the top of their field.The only titles we do use are Agent, as that distinguishes me from you.”

“Pretty sure your getup gives you guys away,” Carol said with more acidity than she would have liked.The further they got from the sky, the more unsettled she became.

Finally, they stood in front of a door.Each hallway was as white as the next, and each door as unmarked as the previous.How anyone found their way through this maze, Carol didn’t know.She’d tried to keep track of each turn, but by the third staircase she’d given up.

“Be polite,” the agent said, before opening the door, shoving Carol through it, and slamming it shut.

“Jackass,” she muttered, regaining her footing.

“Carol,” a man said, seated at his desk and illuminated by the light coming off a lamp.The room was surprisingly dark, much more basement-y than the rest of the facility.“I mean, Carol Danvers is it?You’ve come highly recommended.Best pilot this side of the Rockies.”

“But women can’t fly combat, so guess who’s grounded?” Grounded.Underground.Couldn’t get punished more than that.“Excuse me.That was uncalled for, Agent...?”

“No need to apologize.I was warned that you have a bit of a bite.”The man stood up and crossed to the front of his desk.“And it’s Carter.You can call me Agent Carter.”He followed up the statement with a smile, suggesting there was a joke she wouldn’t understand.

When he leaned back on his desk, hands curved around the edge, she was finally able to get a decent look at him.Unlike the other agents she’d encountered, he had an entirely different build.They were lithe, slinky, mostly short, and fit their spy-ish persona.Carter was tall, overly muscular like the military men she was sick of, and all of this seemed at odds with his age.His hair was completely grey, but still voluminous and styled.The wrinkles on his face accentuated his grin.Even his blue eyes retained an inhuman brightness in the dark of his office.And goddamn, his muscles.Yeah, she’d clocked his arms more times than she should have.She couldn’t help it.Fleetingly, she’d fantasized him lifting her up, throwing her over his wooden executive desk, and doing unseemly things to her.Then she flushed, terrified that he could read what was going through her mind.

Older men looked rugged, older women looked worn out.It was just one of the many unfair things her sex was dealing with.Though not on her particular list, eventually it would probably factor into one of the many reason she’d abandoned her previous position.

“You, uh, don’t exactly roll with the rest of the stick in the muds out there do you?”She waved at his ensemble from top to bottom.

He was wearing a sky blue button up, which was notably unbuttoned so the collar of his undershirt peeked out. His cuffs were rolled up his forearms, one of the five billion reasons she couldn’t stop looking.Put those weapons away.

“I prefer function.But enough about me.”Hooking his foot under the seat, he dragged a chair directly in front of him.“Sit.”

When she plopped into the chair, she made a show of spreading her legs and leaning back.Something told her this man couldn’t be intimidated, yet she wanted to try.There had been a softness in the way that he’d said her name.Unexplainably, she felt safe in doing so.Unlike many of her male superiors, Agent Carter would never hurt her.

Which, was possibly the stupidest thought she’d ever had in her entire life.No one should implicitly trust a stranger.Especially one who, if he did wish, could harm her in an irreparable way.All he need do was lock the door.

She flinched, and he immediately stood and returned behind his desk to sit opposite her.“So what brings you to our little operation here, Danvers.”

“I was told I could fly.”

“Fair enough.”He smiled again.

“Have we met before?”She stooped forward, resting her elbows on the desktop.

“No, Danvers.I can say with utmost sincerity, that this is the first time you’ve met me.”

There was that smile again, his teeth gleaming from the lamplight.Someone hit a switch and the office flooded with lightCarol jerked backward as she realized just how close she’d been to him, her palms flattened to the desk, her chest hovering above an open file, their noses inches apart.

“Must you be so dramatic.Good Lord.”A woman said from behind Carol.She must have silently entered.“Why didn’t you tell me she was coming in today?I hate getting my information from that little twit Marcus.Instead I had to run all the way from the hanger.”

A stocky woman in a flight jacket, panted as she stuck out her hand for Carol to shake.“Wendy Lawson.You’ll be working with me kid.Ignore the Agents.S.H.I.E.L.D. is funding our little shindig, so we have to bend over and take it in the ass sometimes.But let me do the dirty work, all you gotta do is fly for me.”

Carter tipped back in his seat and propped his legs on the desk, crossing them at the ankles.He almost knocked over a set of framed photos in the process.“I have no interest in your ass Lawson.Or anyone’s for that matter.”

“Sure you don’t.”Lawson shook her head in mock agreement.

“Happily married.”He wiggled his ring finger.“You remember our 40th anniversary.You took advantage of the open bar.Ok, so maybe you don’t.”He laughed, and the sound echoed, bouncing off the walls and straight into Carol’s body, taking root beneath her ribs.

“Damn, she’s beautiful,” Carol said, rudely plucking a frame and staring at the picture.

“Yeah, Peggy has that effect on people.”When Carter took the photo back, the warmth from his fingertips caused Carol to shudder.

“I’m going to take over from here.Let me take you back topside so you can check out the goods in the hangar.”Lawson placed her hand on Carol’s shoulder trying to capture her attention.

“Sounds like a plan.”After she stood, she turned back to look at Carter.“We’ll be meeting again, right?”

“Usually people head for the hills if someone tells them to work with me.”He raised one eyebrow.

“Because you’re a show-off.Can’t crawl out from your giant shadow.Thank God I’m not from around here, so your history means squat to me.”Lawson said, once again trying to direct them back outside.

“Shadow?”Carol asked.

“Doesn’t matter.Just stay out of trouble, otherwise you’ll have me to answer to.”

* * *

Every day at lunch time, Carol desperately needed out of the building.Either she was stuck in Carter’s office giving him a run down of the day, or she was wheeling around the hangar.One of Lawson’s many eccentricities was her need to be in constant motion.Whether she was jotting notes in a journal or taking measurements, she was always puttering about the space.Carol had taken to sitting on a creeper and rolling after her mentor.

By the time her break arrived, she wanted nothing more than to laze about in the sunshine.She’d haphazardly grab her lunch from the cafeteria and race into the desert.She remained close enough that she was within Lawson’s shouting distance, but far away enough that she felt hidden.

Settled against a mesquite tree and daydreaming, she didn’t expect Carter to interrupt her quiet time.

“Came to warn you there’s a velvet ant on your sandwich.One of those suckers stings you, and you aren’t gonna be too happy,” he said.

There he stood, in even less formal clothes than usual.It was already established among his colleagues that he’d never wear a suit, but he was wearing a white T-shirt and star-spangled, neon shorts.Sweat gathered in a V at his chest.

“Spy cameras all the way out here, Agent?” Carol drew her hand over her brows and pretended to seek out cameras in the foliage.

“Obviously not.I was out for my afternoon run.You’re not the only one who hates it in there.” He crouched down and flicked the insect off her sandwich.“I have a long history of loathing confined, solitary spaces.”

She handed him her canteen which he happily chugged.“You knew?”

“Let me put it this way, you’d never win at poker.”He made a show of rolling his eyes back and looking as miserable as possible.“But I want to know why you’re out here alone.Word is that plenty of people have invited you out, not just on base, but for drinks afterward too.As your handler, I’m supposed to look out for your well being along with your safety.”When he nudged his shoulder to hers, she swore could sense something change.

“I’ve never been great at making friends.”The honest answer surprised even her.“You probably wouldn’t understand that, being a man and all.”

“Try me.” He drank more water until the canteen was empty and then handed it back.

“No one gets along with a tomboy after a certain age.Guys just turn off that switch, and all of the sudden you’re only a pair of boobs.But girls are jealous, so they aren’t your friend either.And eventually you don’t know how to get along with anyone.”

“What about Maria?”

Carol cocked her eyebrow and peered at him.“From the Academy?”

He tried to render his face expressionless, but there was still a dash of confusion at the corners. 

“Sure did your homework, didn’t you?I guess we got along ok.She has a kid, so it’s not like we had much in common.We both got invited to this program, but she turned it down.Didn’t want to move her daughter around more than she had too.”

“So you weren’t that close?”

“What’re you expecting.Some blood brothers crap?Yeah, she was nice to me.We hung out a couple of times.But that’s it.”

A tiny series of beeps broke the tension; Carol’s alarm was going off.

“Guess that means it’s back to work for the both of us,” Carter said, standing up and stretching his arms behind his back.

“Seriously.If you’re gonna drill me, can’t I ask?Who the hell lets you dress yourself?”She pointed at his hideous shorts.

“I may or may not know the boss.”Waving over his shoulder, he took off jogging in the direction of the main building.

Goose, Lawson’s cat, leapt out from behind a cactus.She sniffed the air, and hissed in Carter’s direction.

“I know you hate everybody, but he’s not that bad,” Carol said with a lilt.

The cat disagreed.She went as far as to kick the dirt like she were covering a turd.

* * *

Months slithered slowly like rattlesnakes in the morning sun.Despite the time spent retrofitting Lawson’s parts in the jet, Carol hadn’t actually flown.There were days when she wondered if her handler had something to do with it.Taking matters into her own hands, she stomped down to Carter’s office.Muscle memory took her past every turn perfectly.This wasn’t the Air Force, she didn’t give a shit if this were against protocol.

“Open up,” she called.

The door opened swiftly, but in a surprisingly fluid manner.A woman stood on the other side.She gave a courteous nod, then slipped past Carol.Undoubtably, the woman was Carter’s wife.Her features had once been captivating enough that the framed picture had floored Carol.In person, she seemed old.She and Carter had been married forty years.That was one of the first things out of his mouth when Carol arrived on base.

She should have felt threatened, or at least a spark of tension.Instead, she just stared in confusion at the woman walking down the hall.She was entirely unremarkable, which spoke to her work in the field.All agents had an air of averageness.Carter was the exception.

“Need something?” he asked.Unaffected by Carol’s presence, he tucked a loose corner of his shirt into his slacks.

“I, uh, you know,” Carol found herself at a loss for words.

“I do not know, Danvers,” he said, laughing a little bit.

“Wasn’t that important. Maybe I should go.”

“I was actually on my way topside.Made a mess of my snack though.”He leaned back and grabbed a soiled shirt from the back of his chair.The clothing had been there the whole time, overlooked.“Peg and the other higher ups had their meeting catered.She brought me a sandwich, but it turns out mustard is my enemy.”

“Just food?” She tipped her head, pointing at his shirt.

“Just food.But I doubt you came all the way here to talk about my eating habits.”

“Right,” she said, with a nod. “When do I get to fly, Sir.”

“When Lawson thinks you’re ready.”

“It’s not on your orders?” She frowned, frustrated that the situation wasn’t as simple as she’d thought.

“I may oversee a lot, but your talent isn’t something I question.”

Carol flushed beneath the canvas jumpsuit.The redness spread up to her neck and to her cheeks.

“What the...stop that!” Steve shouted, turning around.

Unbeknownst to either of them, Goose had silently followed all the way to the office.She chose to express her usual hatred of Carter in a physical way.She’d jumped on his desk and began pissing over all his paperwork.

* * *

Attending Peggy’s birthday party might have been one of Carol’s worst ideas.When Carter had casually invited her, she couldn’t think of anywhere else she’d rather be.He’d said it in such an offhand manner, like he was inviting everyone that worked in his department.Now that she was there, she wanted nothing more than to bail.

Carter and his wife lived in a sprawling ranch style home that butted up to the edge of a mesa.The deck that wrapped around the entire back end overhung the cliff face.It was the kind of place her pilot soul dreamed of.If flight were possible for humans, she felt like she could wake up first thing in the morning, swing open the french doors of the master suite, step outside, climb the railing, and then jump off into the seemingly bottomless canyon.

Locking her feet in between the spindles, she closed her eyes and leaned over the precipice.The wind whipped at her hair and blouse.Fabric rustled even more when she lifted her arms and let the air slip through her fingers.She tried to ignore whoever was approaching her, but when he hit the railing so hard that it shook she was forced to look at him.

“Peg’s worried you’re gonna jump.I told her not to.” 

The man had introduced himself as ‘Bucky’ earlier in the evening.He’d apparently been a childhood friend of Carter’s.Carol couldn’t seem to find anything that would suggest they’d get along.He wore his hair in a scraggily way that dusted his shoulders, implying a hippy lifestyle that he should’ve abandoned ages ago, but he was also undoubtably a military man.Even the way he sauntered across the room gave him a menacing aura.He only spoke when spoken to, which wasn’t often given the crowd.Most of Peggy’s friend’s seemed terrified of him.By the way he sneered back, it appeared he wanted to keep things that way.

“Come to babysit Carter’s pet?” she asked, choosing to step away from the railing and cross her arms.

“Is that what you want, someone to take care of you?”

She refused to believe that the arm he slipped around her waist was a prosthesis.The metal felt warm to the touch, and his fingers curved against the rise of her hip.The rows upon rows of tiny joints pinched at her skin and caught on the fine, invisible hairs.The strength with which he pulled her toward himself, easily reminded her of Carter.Most men and women in their seventies looked their age.He and Bucky could’ve passed for early fifties, not including the muscles that they hid beneath their clothing.

“What do you plan to accomplish?”She smiled, knowing she was one drink shy of making a bad decision.Or maybe half a drink.Perhaps, she might have been drunk enough after all.

“Testing a theory.”

“I thought that was a Stark thing.You’re not a Stark.Or a Pym.Or even a Lawson.”Her words were probably slurring together, because she felt herself losing balance and relying fully on Bucky to support her.

He was unafraid to touch her.His grip on her tightened, because he had nothing to lose.He wasn’t her mentor, he wasn’t married, he wasn’t any of the things that might get him penalized for having a relationship with a younger woman.Not that she wanted a relationship.Biting her lip, she reached up to brush his bangs away from his face.

“You remind me of orange juice.”

His laughter was low and infectious, causing her to be overtaken with giggles.“Orange juice?”

“Yeah.The commercials.They always have an orange, and then it rises like the sun, because it’s the first thing you have in the morning.”Giggling and then sighing, she drooped forward until her cheek rested against his chest. When she smiled, she could feel his skin tense against the metallic arm, creating a wave that rolled it’s way toward his hand.“I guess I meant the sun.You remind me of a sunrise.Like every day could be new, and different, and beautiful.But every single one of them would start with you.”

“I’m beginning to think you’re describing someone else,” he said playfully.“But do continue.”

Her silken curls slipped between his fingers as he played with them.“And your eyes are the color of sky when you lift above the clouds at the very end of dusk.When the oranges and pinks and purples of the desert have faded, so the sky transitions into the murky nameless blues of evening that aren’t quite wholly any one thing, but still remain captivating.”

“You aren’t even looking at them, and I guarantee they aren’t that color.”He stopped playing with her hair so that he could drum against her back.“Go on.”

“I know every millimeter of your appearance.I even see you in my dreams.I can smell when you’ve left a room before I’ve entered it.But there is only one sense that I’m curious about.What... do you taste like?”With her eyes closed, she rocked on her tip toes and tried to angle herself to meet his lips.

“Carol, I think it’s time I drove you home,” Carter practically ordered from right behind her.

Bucky immediately let go and she felt herself free fall.Dropping, like she’d never reach the ground or any type of landing.She wanted this, to feel the air rushing past her as she flew infinitely from one plane of existence to the next.She could fall forever, never becoming grounded.No ground.No underground.No Carter in his office, underground with no windows.No windows, so no one could see them.No one would ever see them.There was no harm.It would be a secret she’d keep to the grave.Except graves were underground.She’d take that secret to space.Up high, straight into the vast nothingness.

And then she landed. Not on the deck, but straight into Carter’s chest.

“How much did you drink?” he asked, his arms hooked beneath her armpits as he tried to stand her up.

“A little too much,” she sighed happily.“I may have tried something Lawson concocted in her lab.She warned me that it’d be too strong.”She blew a puff of air to shift her bangs out of the way, but they fluttered back into place.“I’ve never heard a safety warning that I haven’t called bullshit on at least once.”Her giggles were back in full force.“Finally met my match though.”

“I can verify,” Bucky added.“First thing that’s got me buzzed in years.”

“Why didn’t you stop her, or at least come get me when you realized she was in trouble.”Carter began dragging her across the deck to the set of steps that led down to the side yard.He frowned at any of the party goers who stared at the commotion through the windows.

“Testing a theory.”Bucky darted ahead to unlatch the gate to the driveway.

Once out of view, Carter lifted a near sleeping Carol over his shoulders.“She isn’t a toy, Buck.”

“Mmmhmm. Not a toy,” she mumbled in agreement, as her cheek repeatedly bounced against Carter’s back.

“But she’s not just a member of your team, is she?”

Carter didn’t answer, and silently loaded her into the back seat of his car.“Tell Peggy I took her home, I’ll be back later.”

* * *

“I’m sorry about the other day.”

A week had passed since Carter had deposited her wasted ass at her apartment.He’d stayed long enough to make sure she was safe, but as soon as she was hydrated he’d left.Even on base, he hadn’t called for his usual debriefing.This resulted in her angrily stomping into his office.No one ignored Carol.Most people didn’t like her, but even hatred was better than being invisible.

Carter rubbed at his brow, easing away tension.“Nothing to be sorry about.Lawson knows better.This happens every time.”

“But I shouldn’t have acted out.I need to comport myself with just as much tact outside as I do here.All of the big wigs were there.”

“You never comport yourself properly, why start now?”His eye twitched, and he immediately resumed rubbing his brows.

“Are,” Carol paused to put her hands on his desk.She leaned over and brought her face close to his. “...you ok?”

“I’m fine,” he snapped back.

“I’m not a medic, but you look like shit.Have you been sleeping at all?”

His eyes were reddened at the corners, and the surrounding skin was darker.When she touched his cheek, he fell into the touch.His skin was warm against her palm.The air from his sigh flooded the flesh of her wrist and sent a shiver up her arm.

“I’m running out of time.”

“Tell me, maybe I can help.”

“Not with this.”

“Then with what?”

“Why are you concerned?Why are me and Lawson the only people you care about?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”Carol closed her eyes.She waited impatiently.His face still made contact with her hand, she could guide him into position.When she started bringing him in, he jerked away, breaking their connection.

“I’m married.”

It was as simple as that.There was no denying that he had a wife that he loved.There was no reason that he’d up and leave her for a twenty-something pilot who made a show of defying orders.Why _was_ she so attached to him?There was something about their interactions that assured her it wasn’t one sided.

* * *

An announcement was made about the tragic passing of Howard and Maria Stark.A memorial would be held in a matter of days.Carol had awoken to a phone call at daybreak.She’d assumed it was in relation to another boss dying.In actuality, Lawson had needed her at the hangar.

“Lawson, you can’t do this.The both of you are going to...” Carter was gripping at Lawson’s shoulders as they, and Peggy quarreled in the hangar.

“It’s not just down to the two of us.You know there’s more at stake.You’re the one who told me.”

“I can’t let you take her.”Carter kept pleading with Lawson, while his wife fruitlessly pulled him by the waist.

“You can’t fix everything, Steve.”Even with Peggy’s feet firmly planted, her strength was incomparable to his and she wasn’t able to budge him.

“No matter what I do.Everything still goes to shit.We save Buck, but someone else gets Howard even earlier.I’m not losing anyone else.I can’t do this anymore.I need her, safe, here, with me.”Instead of anger, Carter sounded full of desperation and pain.

“If you don’t let go of me, I’m going to punch out every last one of your teeth.” Lawson said, gripping at his hand.“Take your wife, and get out of here, before you do something you regret.”

Carol wasn’t sure if she should charge toward the jet and break up the fight or stand in silence.They were discussing events that she’d never heard of.What did he mean Bucky didn’t kill Stark?She couldn’t picture Buck killing anyone.Where did Lawson plan on going?

“What’s going on?”Decision made, she raced across the pavement until she scissored her arms between Carter and Lawson, breaking their grips on one another.“Carter, Peggy, go home.I’m sure whatever the emergency, Lawson and I can handle it.”She started backing up toward the jet, shielding Lawson.

Carter’s chest heaved and the color drained from his face.“For the love of God, at least give me a second with her.”

Carol gestured her arm at Peggy.“No one’s stopping you.”Then, she noticed the woman shake her head slowly.She watched Carter’s expression soften, he’d been waiting for Carol to truly notice what he was getting at. “Me?” she asked; her breath hitched in realization.

“You get one minute, I’m timing you.” Lawson tapped at her watch before climbing the ladder.

Carter closed the distance faster than she’d imagined possible.She’d never seen him in action; his speed was superhuman.Little puzzle pieces felt like they were locking in place, but the image wasn’t complete.There weren’t enough pieces yet, and she feared she’d never see things with the perspective necessary to understand what was happening.

Carol kept glancing between the man standing in front of her and his wife who was walking back to the exit. “What the hell is...” her words were cut off.

Carter’s mouth on hers was a taste she’d been waiting for but never thought she’d experience.There was no time to remind herself that the day she’d tried to kiss him, he’d rejected her because of his marriage.Yet, right there in front of his wife, he was kissing her like she was the only woman on earth.His warm fingertips grazed the back of her neck; she was unable to feel the temperature of his other hand clutching at her jumpsuit.When he tried to release her, she grabbed a hold of his hair and pulled him closer.Unsated, she only ended the kiss because she could hear Lawson calling for her.

“What is all of this?”

“If you knew I loved you, would you still leave?”Carter kept dipping his head back down for quick pecks.

“I take it you know something I don’t?”

“Lawson isn’t who you think she is.Heck, I’m not who you think I am.”

“But I trust you both, so whatever she has in store, I’m going to go along with.”

He balled his hands into fists before flexing his fingers and touching them to her waist.“How did I know you were going to say something like that?”

“Will I see you again?”She looked up to see his expression cloud over with worry.

“I don’t know.”He kissed her one more time, mussing her bun from the underside.“Yes.I’ll make it happen. You’ll meet me again.It’s not going to be fucked up beyond all recognition like it is this time.”

“Why can’t you talk like a normal person.”

“You deserve better than this.”

“I love you, Carter.”The words spilled out, spurred by his action.If what he said was true, she might not have another chance.

He snorted, which was highly inappropriate given the situation.“That’s not actually my name.I use Peggy’s whenever I’m worried it might influence someone’s opinion of me.Then I felt awkward correcting you.”

“She called you Steve a minute ago.Is that it?” She brushed her nose against his, wanting to initiate a kiss.

“Steve Rogers.”

She blinked, trying to figure out why it sounded familiar.Nothing came to mind.He laughed that soul filling laugh that seeped into her body every instance that she heard it.

“I love you, Steve Rogers.”

“Please.Please promise me you’ll remember that.”He stepped back.“Now go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...way back when, I said I wouldn’t write more Steve/Carol. Obviously that did not work out for me. Because I love this ship.  
> I started working on this thing, with no clear goal. But then I wrote a Christmas scene, and I went “better finish it by Christmas”
> 
> Ha. Ha. Ha. Jokes on me, suddenly it was December 24. *sags limply to the floor*  
> So between today & tomorrow I’m going to be uploading the other three chapters as I edit them (and finish writing some of them *melts further into puddle*).


	2. The Wrong Direction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The podfic for the chapter is here:  
> [ Click for the mp3 ](https://www.dropbox.com/s/zhnqp9blysahvpe/CCPart2.mp3?dl=0)

**PART** **2: THE WRONG DIRECTION**

_Beta_ _2012_

An unremarkable beep started alarming on Carol’s armband.No image, no message, no audio, just a blip blip blip.It took a moment for her to realize it wasn’t a glitch in her system.Someone was trying to contact with tech practically incompatible with the upgrades she’d installed within the year.She ran her finger back and forth over the screen trying to gather information.

“Oh shit.”

It had been decades since she’d tampered with Fury’s beeper.After the first five years had passed, she’d honestly doubted he would ever contact her.

* * *

Steve Rogers was easy on the eyes and terrible for her temper.He seemed to be interested in everyone but her.She’d never been a narcissist, but she felt actively singled out.

Somehow, missing their big ‘team-building-battle’ had left her as the odd man out.Her late arrival was entirely Fury’s fault.His waiting until an actual galactic threat took place to call her was an oversight.

Banging her head against her office desk, she unleashed a series of growls.There was absolutely no reason for her to get so hung up on Steve’s disinterest.All of the other Avengers were plenty curious about her.

Tony and Bruce had a series of instruments (which they’d thought were hidden) that took readings on her radioactivity, temperature, speed, and any other non-specific data they could fool around with.Before returning to Asgard, Thor had been curious if they’d had any realms in common during her years in space.Clint disliked everyone, excluding Natasha, equally.Lastly, Nat enjoyed finally having another woman at her level to train with.

This left Steve and his completely conspicuous effort to be anywhere besides her current location.It was like she had magical diffusion abilities.The second she would enter a room through one door, he’d exit through another.

Conference meetings with Fury and Hill were the only chance she could see him.Because of this, admittedly, she might have come on a little strong. She’d zone out and stare at him for the duration of the meeting.

She’d watch his jaw clench anytime he held his tongue in disagreement.She’d watch him tip back in his chair when Tony would make an ill-timed joke or insult. The corner of his lip would curl in a lopsided grin whenever Nat made a solid point.His fingers would strum silently when a session ran too long and he became restless.At least once a meeting he’d turn off the screen of his computer tablet, balance a corner on the table and spin the device slowly, pause, finish the rotation, and turn it back on.

With meetings being the only time she saw him, studying his behaviors became a compulsion of hers.She never listened to a word Fury said, opting to read Hill’s write-up within an hour of its completion.

“I don’t know why I’m even here,” she said, sulking and slinking further onto the desk like a melting popsicle.

“Never took you for the whining type,” Nat said, slipping into the room.

“I have plenty of shit to wrangle out there.”Carol pointed skyward.“But it feels like Fury hired me to be a babysitter and teach a ‘Superheroes for Beginners’ class that no one needs.”

“Paper pushing not your thing?”Nat slunk into an armchair for guests.

“I understand it’s necessary, but I haven’t done anything meaningful in months.”

Goose meowed from her bed in the corner.She disagreed and felt all the snacks she brought her was a perfect use of her time.

“This is going to sound like a terrible, cliche, bad rom-com, chick-lit advice, but,” Nat said with a shrug, “maybe you should blow off some steam.Sometimes it’s the easiest way to adjust to a new city.You get to have fun, learn tasty hole-in-the-wall restaurants, and then there’s the obvious.”She made a series of obscene gestures with her mouth and hands.

Carol barked alaugh and then leaned back in her chair.“Didn’t expect love advice.But I hate to break it to you.I’m not the E-harmony type, nor is a random person on the street gonna cut it.”

Nat snickered when she realized Carol was serious.“You wouldn’t have to look that far.”

“Oh no.Fury’s just an old friend.”

“While the man does have an air of sexy-mystery, I wasn’t talking about him.”

“Tony’s taken.Bruce is a no-go.Not my type.And isn’t Clint yours?”

“Clint’s not mine.And since this is secret girl-talk; he’s actually spoken for but don’t let the guys know.Everyone is too up in each other’s business.”

Carol rolled her eyes, but nodded.“So, no one’s left.Guess I’m outta luck.”

Nat huffed.“By the way you stare at each other, he’s not no one.Something is definitely going on.”

Reluctantly, Carol spilled the beans.“For some reason, he reminds me of someone.A person I can’t even remember.I’d say it were deja vu, but it’s more than that.I know that person exists, but my memory has permanent holes.”She brushed off Nat’s questioning look, not willing to delve into the nature of her memory loss right then. “So I have this weird sense that if I just got to know him... he’d start ticking off all these boxes I didn’t know were there.I sound psychotic.”She put her face in her hands and muffled a growl of irritation.“And it’s very much a one-sided stare.Have you seen how he runs away anytime I try to say anything?”

“Oh, Sweetie.”Nat stood up and gestured for Carol to follow.“Steve is like a baby chick.If it’s work, battle, fighting, or crap like that, he’s fantastic.Flirting?The man doesn’t have any training there.”She led them down the hall to the conference room.“Sit,” she said as she slid out Steve’s usual chair. Then she padded over to Carol’s usual spot and took a seat. “Ok, what does he do, Peeping Tom?”

“Listens.Pays attention, which I don’t do.”

“What else?”

The huge table had shallow drawers where each team member kept notepads, pens, and a tablet for supplemental material that wasn’t on the holographic projector.Tony was the only one could use that efficiently anyway.

“Fine.”Invading Steve’s privacy, she pulled out his tablet.“He does this.”She mimicked his action and spun it on it’s axis.“Oh,” she said when the device slipped from her fingers.

Mid turn she could see Nat’s reflection waving at her.Steve hadn’t been twiddling his thumbs; he’d been watching her with equal scrutiny.

“Can’t believe it took you this long.”Pulling her phone from her pocket, Natasha got ready to call a number on her speed dial.“Sort this out when he gets here.”She left the room with the mobile device pressed to her ear.

* * *

They very much didn’t ‘sort it out.’Steve had turned tail and fled the second he’d realized they’d been alone.That would have been the end if Carol hadn’t shouted that she could do with a slice.Steve had then valiantly showed her the best pizzeria on the block.Actually it was the only pizza on the block.Tony let very few business open up in Stark Plaza.He thought tourists slurping sodas at chain restaurants took away from the beauty of Stark Tower.However, he had nothing to say when anyone pointed out the seven Burger Kings within a 5 minute walking distance.

Somehow, eating out became a routine.The work day would come to a close, and suddenly one of them would be dropping by the other’s office.The more times Steve treated Carol to dinner, the more she wondered if he knew they were dating.He’d insisted on all of the chivalrous things: pulling her chair, paying the tab, and accompanying her to her doorstep even though he lived on a lower floor.

Just like every night that week, they ended up in front of her apartment.

“Would you like to come in?” she asked with her hand bearing down on the handle.

“Probably shouldn’t, it’s getting late,” he said, taking a step backward.

“I’ve seen you dick around the gym at midnight.It’s barely nine-o’clock.”

“Tony’s flying in from Malibu tomorrow morning.Early start.You should get some rest too.”He inched further and further away.

There it was again, the subtle rejection.She’d quickly and easily become his best-friend and missed the girlfriend mark entirely.Friend-zoned by America’s Hero.Perhaps that was a feat of its own.

“I won’t bite.”She slowly swung the door open.“We can finish arguing our separate points on why Bruce hasn’t designed a hyper-elastic material, I’ll make you a cup of coffee, decaf, and when my back’s turned you can escape.”

A tinkling of a tiny bell preceded Goose’s exit into the hallway.She made a beeline for Steve and did figure eight’s between his legs.He scooped her into his arms.

“We better head in before she eats someone,” Steve said hesitantly entering Carol’s apartment.

“That’s the spirit.”She smiled the entire way to her kitchen to start the coffee pot.“My bad, I’m out of decaf.”

“Whatever you’re having is fine,” Steve called from the living room.

The layout of each apartment was the same; their senses of style varied.Steve had replaced all the cabinetry and furniture with custom hardwoods.Carol had left all of the prefabricated pieces chosen by Pepper’s design team.The only item out of place was an enormous, stained, threadbare, and ugly puke green sofa.Carol had found it by a dumpster on bulk pick up day.Far too comfy for the landfill, she’d flown it in straight through the window.

“I stand by my belief that Bruce is an exhibitionist.This is his only outlet to run around naked,” Carol said as she flopped down next to him and handed over a mug.

“He’s busy.Wasting energy on his vanity gives him less time to design S.H.I.E.L.D. equipment.It’s about priorities.”

“His priority should be not showing his butt on the news.”She leaned back into the cushions and then rolled her neck so she could face him.“Be honest.Are you scared of me?”

“What?Of course not.”A few droplets spilled from his mug when he set it on the coffee table.“Would you win in a fair fight?Probably.But that doesn’t mean I’m scared of you.”

Carol released a long, deep breath.“Not physically, Steve.I mean that you reek of nervousness whenever we’re alone.If I’ve got this entire thing wrong and that wasn’t a date just now, tell me.We can be friends.But that also means you need to calm down.”She touched the flat of her palm to his chest.“I’m worried you’re going to hyperventilate or throw up or something.”

“Date.We had dates.”He nodded his head trying to communicate by more than one means.

“Ok, glad we cleared that up.Next on the docket.You never get this high strung with anyone else.”

“Because I like you,” he blurted like a young boy, his face flushing to match his youthful embarrassment.

Carol only raised her eyebrow.While she was happy to hear of his affection, she needed more of an explanation.

“I’m bad at this.”He placed his hand over hers and gripped gently.“I’ve always been shy around women.But I didn’t use to be this bad.I was an above average amount of awkward.A lot of what the serum did is physical.Everyone can see what happened on the outside.Only I know about the inside.”He curled his fingers around hers with slightly more strength.“It amplified everything about me.Worry, self-doubt, and shame included.”

“Everyone deals with those.”

“But not everyone is a twenty-seven-year-old who has only kissed two women.Both of whom grabbed at me.”He leaned forward and reached for the lapel of her jacket.“Like this.”

“What did they do next?”Carol asked, as she tucked her legs under herself so that she could more easily fall forward, letting him pull her in.

“That’s the thing.I just...can’t make myself do it.”His nose bumped against hers, then he released his hold.“No matter how much I want to.”

“I’m not going to force you to do anything.The last thing I want is to be remembered as awoman who ‘grabbed at you.’ Geez.”She almost sat back, but she could feel him getting closer.

“Carol, I’m sick of sitting back and hoping something happens.I want this to be the start of something.”

His breath felt hot on her skin.He let go of her jacket in favor of stroking her cheek bone with his thumb.Each time his eyes met hers, there was a mix of trepidation and excitement.After staring at her lips, he made a decision.His hand steadied, and he slowly angled his mouth to meet hers.

The kiss was clumsy and ended far too soon.She smiled to herself, amused that he’d been telling the truth.Not that he’d had any reason to lie, but it had fluffed her ego that she was the first woman he’d put the effort in for.

Now filled with confidence, he came in for one kiss after another.She hadn’t aimlessly made out (sex was definitely not happening with him anytime soon) in decades.She’d forgotten just how enjoyable it could be.

“I need to head back,” he finally said, shifting in his seat.

“Ok, but we’re picking this up another time.”She watched as he repeatedly adjusted his pants when he stood up.They were going to take things slowly, but maybe that’s exactly what she needed.

* * *

After returning from her morning jog, she was surprised to find Steve standing outside her apartment. He was nervously tapping his fingers against his thighs, and his eyes remained trained on the floor.

“We need to talk,” he said.

“What girl doesn’t love to hear that first thing in the morning,” Carol said, reaching past him to unlock the door with her key card.When they’d both stepped inside she asked if he wanted coffee.

“No.Just come sit.”Grabbing her hand, he led her to the couch where he’d kissed her the night before.

“Ok. So what’s got you bent out of shape?”She attempted to ease his worry by stroking at his cheek, but he flinched.

“Pepper left last night.”

“She runs an empire.When is she not jet-setting?I’ve only seen her at the Tower during parties.”

“No, Carol.She left Tony.He arrived at the airport shit-faced.I drove him straight here, and he cried the entire way.I didn’t know he was capable of feeling anything other than conceited.”He rubbed at his brow, trying to collect his thoughts.

“No shit.”While not the kindest sentiment, Carol was at a loss for words.

“And while I’m obviously worried for him, I keep thinking about something else.”Blowing air angrily through his teeth, he prepared his next statement.“I think we should just stay friends.”

“What the f...” She didn’t finish since she knew her coarse language bothered him.“A little late for that, isn’t it.You were supposed to opt out last night.”

“I know, I know,” he said, dropping his face into his hands.“But I don’t want to end up like Tony.What if I love you but things still don’t work out?Things’ll get ugly.I can’t do that to our team.We work together.This was a bad idea from the start.I should have listened to my gut.”

Sucking in a breath, she leaned back into the couch.“We kissed like once, Steve.Hardly a marriage proposal.Of course we can go back to how we were.Think of those dates as our usual outings.Like the times you and Nat grab lunch after a mission.”Hopefully her smile concealed her lies.“Why don’t we drag Tony out for some sushi tonight, given that he’s sober by then?”

He smiled back at her, and they both knew that they weren’t fooling anyone.“Sounds like a plan.”His lips touched her cheek so fleetingly she doubted it actually happened.“I better make sure he’s not clomping around in his suit wrecking one of his labs.”

An ominous clatter rang out from one of the floors above, signaling truth in Steve’s prediction.

* * *

_Beta_ _2014_

Uninterested in joining S.H.I.E.L.D. like the rest of the gang, Carol stayed in New York.Fury, having known her the longest had been persistent.However, he should have also known how stubborn she was.Instead of uprooting to D.C., she’d worked for Stark.Her aeronautical skills proved invaluable because unlike the Mach-number-whatever, she didn’t require upgrades or maintenance.The best part of her job was the regular flights to check on his satellites.

When S.H.I.E.L.D. went to shit, the last thing she expected was Steve and Natasha to knock on her door.

“We need someone we can trust,” he said firmly. 

There was no question.She was expected to let them in.

“Won’t this be the first place they look?” Carol asked while ushering them inside.

“Cut the crap.You aren’t anywhere on the files.Your bestie Fury made sure of that.Why should they?You don’t even exist, Carol.If that’s actually your name.”Natasha said, sinking onto the couch.

“It’s only a matter of time before we have to scram, but rest for now.” Carol said, pointing in the direction of the bedroom.

* * *

_Beta_ _2015_

As an employee, Tony’s parties were exhausting for Carol. She had a number of elegant pantsuits and gowns she cycled through when the occasion called for it.This event was as dull as the other ones that year, except for the fact the team was there.

They’d recently been on a mission together, so it felt less like a party and more like a homecoming.She watched Steve from the sidelines as he spoke with Bruce.When he brought her a drink mixed from Thor’s personal stash, she couldn’t help but tease him.

“What’s this I hear about ‘flirting up close’?I thought you don’t mix business with pleasure.”

She sipped from the martini glass and was surprised by the warmth of a buzz.Not since she’d left Hala had she been significantly drunk.The Kree had a metabolism that rivaled hers.It would appear the Asgardians did too.

“Still don’t.”His hand touched her lower back to swivel her out of the way when a drunken veteran charged to the restrooms.“But I’m not gonna get in the way of what other people do.”

“How close is up close?” she asked, stepping toward him until her chest met his.“This close?”

“Closer.”He handed his drink to a waiter passing by with a tray.

“This close?”She could feel him pull her by her waist until the length of their bodies touched.

“Closer,” he repeated.

She slid her hands up his biceps and hooked them on his collar.Delicately she played with the buzzed hair at the base of his skull, dancing her finger tips upward until she latched onto his longer locks.She pulled him down until their lips almost met.“This close?”

He almost kissed her, but she broke away from him.

“Ah, ah, ah.”She wagged her finger.“You’re not gonna get in the way of what other people do, but somehow that doesn’t apply to me?Stop leading me on if this isn’t going anywhere.You know how I feel about you.”

“I’m not going to budge on this, Carol,” he said, straightening himself out.

“Be that way.”

* * *

_Beta_ _2016_

Carol dangled her legs over the edge of the landing platform.While she no longer lived in the tower like the other Avengers, she still visited on a near-daily basis.The sun was setting, but she wasn’t ready to go home.A door opened behind her as Steve joined her on the deck. Goose trotted happily next to him.

“You decide which side you’re on?” He sat down crosslegged, keeping all of his limbs technically within the structure.

“Not yet.”When the wind gusted past, she thrust out her hand to catch the breeze.“How’s Peggy doing?”

“As good as can be expected.She hasn’t recognized me in months.”

Wordlessly she laced her fingers in his.“Maybe next time.”

“If there is a next time.” He sighed with a slump of his shoulders.“Do you ever get the feeling that something is off?Like really wrong.So wrong that no one questions it because there couldn’t _possibly_ be another way.”

“I wish I had an answer for you.But Tony isn’t going to waver on this.”

“This isn’t about Sokovia or the Accords.”He sat up straight and slid his hand away.“I keep thinking back to Hydra.They were hiding in plain sight.What else are we missing?When we took down the legendary ‘Winter Soldier’ I just felt...emptiness.Like something else was supposed to have happened.”

“Not all wins are gonna feel like victories, Steve.Comes with the job.Maybe you need a new line of work.”

Sensing a shift, the cat stopped chasing a pigeon and slunk into Steve’s lap.She flicked her tail when he scratched behind her ears.

“You don’t live here anymore, don’t act like I’m a chair,” Steve said, rubbing more vigorously.

Goose yawned in response before closing her eyes and snuggling closer.

“Why did you bring the cat?” he said, looking to Carol after their moment had passed.

“She’s opinionated.When she wants to come, I don’t really have a say.Safer to open up my knapsack and ask her.If I don’t, she’ll find a way to follow if she feels necessary. ”She reached over to scratch the purring cat’s chin.“She hated when you lived in D.C.I don’t know what she’s going to do if...” She paused, trying to find the right wording.Silence took over, and she gave up.

“I don’t know why she likes me so much,” he said when he snuck a quick glance at Carol.

“Flerken thing.”When Carol didn’t continue, Steve glanced at her again.“They make a dog’s loyalty look like a kick in the balls.They become attached to their initial owner, in her case my mentor Lawson.From there on down they pick people they decide aren’t a threat.Basically they know who that person can trust, who’s safe.”

“But I thought she was originally Fury’s cat?”

At the mention of his name, Goose lifted her head and sniffed the air.Once she was certain the man was nowhere near, she went back to sleep.Carol chuckled quietly.

“Goose didn’t have many options.After Lawson had passed, it was natural that she’d pick me.However, she had a mission so she stayed to complete it.She found Fury tolerable.”

“How did I not know all of this, huh, why didn’t you tell me, Kitty?Am I just tolerable too?”He laughed when the cat rolled over to expose her belly.“So Flerken-Expert, how does she gauge whether I’m safe?”

“The same way most animals do.”Carol took in an exaggerated sniff.“She reads the scent signals you give off, along with body language. She can tell that you are strong enough to defend me, and have a generally pleasant demeanor.But she’s a hell of a lot more perceptive than your average cat.She can also sense small things like shifts in your hormones, minute changes in neurotransmitters affecting your state, etc.She literally knows how you feel about me.And that you could never hurt me.”

“But I have hurt you,” he’d interrupted, somberly.

She leaned over to rest her head on his shoulder.“Not in a lasting way.And you turned out to be right.”The slight breeze from earlier had grown into a cold wind.As the light faded along the horizon, the temperature began dropping.Carol activated her glow to encase the three of them in a subtle heat.“This is hard enough as friends.Is there really no convincing you?”

“Sounds like you picked.”

* * *

_Beta_ _2018_

Rhodey threw a squeaky, stress ball at Carol.It bounced off her head and rolled across her desk.Goose chased the toy behind a chair, retrieved it, and dropped it at the feet of a man beside Rhodey.

“Hey.We have company.”

Carol yawned, trying to fully wake herself from her impromptu nap.That’s when she realized Steve and Natasha had strutted into her office.His smile was warm and filled a hole she didn’t realize was empty.

“Man, I missed you,” she said, leaping over her desk like a hurdle.

Her arms fit perfectly around his back when he lifted in her into a hug.“Me too.”

“I expected you to be wearing a cowboy hat, Outlaw McGraw.”

“Doesn’t fit over the helmet,” he said, setting her back on the floor.“But we’re actually here on business.Have you heard from Tony?”

“No.” She pointed at her desk phone and its blinking voicemail light.“But every government official this side of the galaxy has been callin’ us non-stop.Rhodey and I have been taking turns as... what the hell even are we?Super Ambassadors? You better have a plan, Steve.”

“I’m here too, just in case you missed me,” Natasha added with a wave.

“Don’t worry.We’ve been making connections.We’re going to fix this,” Steve said.

* * *

_Beta_ _2022_

Flipping in a slow circle, Carol took a moment to free float in space.She was on her way to check on a colony of Kree resettling a planet basically in the middle of nowhere.Not that she was faithful to them in any way, but they’d gone through just as much crap as everybody else.She was willing to give any survivors the benefit of the doubt.

Her communicator began blinking, so she engaged her helmet.She found the headpiece stuffy, but if she wanted the caller to actually hear her she’d need the mic.

“What’s up?” she asked, when a small hologram of Natasha appeared on her arm piece.

“Just doing the monthly check in.How’s space?”

“Same old, same old.”

“Your boy Steve has been asking ‘bout you.Wondering when you’re coming back.”

Carol laughed, smiling to herself.“Yeah.He called me yesterday.Something about wanting all of us to celebrate Christmas together.I hope he realizes that Nebula and Rocket don’t understand ultra-specific Terran holidays.”

“You comin’ or what?”

“If I can wrap up here in time, I’ll be there.”

“See you in December.”

* * *

_Beta_ _2023_

“We all know where we’re headed right?”Steve asked.

Everyone nodded.Scott included a thumbs up.Given that they were standing on a time travel platform, if anyone weren’t prepared it was too late.

* * *

_Specific_ _Branch_ _Unidentified_

Carol let go of Steve’s hand so he could enter the room alone.They’d come to visit Peggy at her elderly living community.Her unit was in a wing where other women of like mindsets and ages lived.

Steve had preferred visiting her at least once a month.Peggy had been the only living person from his old life.It helped that Carol had met Peggy when she was still cognizant, and every now and again the woman had remembered her as well.For having an extensive career, it was remarkable she could recognize any of the people she’d worked with.

However, it was rare the times that Carol would enter the room.She’d understood it was something he’d liked to do alone, but still needed an excuse, or support, or whatever Carol tagging along had functioned as.He wasn’t going to squander his chance at seeing her one last time.No one knew that this was the real reason he’d opted to take NYC as one of his time-stops.

Carol wandered over to a couch in the lobby and picked up a magazine.Completely invested in an article about the new Stark Tower, she barely felt a man sit beside her.

“That was quick,” she said, turning the page without looking up.

There were days when Peggy remembered nothing and became disoriented, and there were days when she’d talk to Steve for an hour.They could never tell which it would be.She’d hoped for his sake, that this would have been a good one.

Carol rested her head on his shoulder and patted his thigh. “It’ll be okay,” she said, knowing that it wouldn’t be.“Maybe next time we’ll bring her a cupcake from that bakery down the street.”The lie came easily; neither of them was ready to get on with the mission.

“The chocolate with bourbon frosting is her favorite.”

Carol glanced up and realized that the person she was leaning against was definitively not Steve.He’d smelled the same, felt just as warm, just as safe.She jerked her hand off his lap and snapped back against the couch cushions.

“Carter?”

Of course he was there.It was more surprising that they’d only barely run into him after visiting his wife over the years.Either they’d always had different schedules, or he’d been avoiding her.

“It’s been a long time,” he said, his voice soft and mellow.

She hadn’t aged a day since they’d parted, but he obviously had.The skin of his face was pliable as she caressed his wrinkles.He felt smooth, yet heated, like the blood pumped to the surface wherever she touched.Which she couldn’t stop doing, just like she always had.

“I’ve missed you.”She leaned back in and wrapped around him in a hug, pressing her face into the curve where his neck met his shoulder.“When I came back, Fury couldn’t find any information on a male Agent Carter, and all files on Peggy’s husband were sealed.I couldn’t look for you even if I wanted.”

“You missed me that much?”His fingers caressed the back of her neck, holding her in place against him.“Glad I left a lasting impression.”

“The only person I respected more than Lawson, was you.”Her lips grazed his skin as she spoke.

“Respected?”When he said this, his laugh vibrated in his throat.

They were both past the age of being embarrassed.Yet, the fact that he’d rejected her when she tried to kiss him still felt like sore spot.He knew she had felt something far more than respect for him.

“Quit it, Carter.You know that I liked you.”

He tilted her head up so she could look into his eyes.They still sparkled with that ethereal blue after all these years.“You don’t remember do you?”

“What?”

“The day at the hangar.I told you my actual name.I thought that’s why you...” he paused and instead waited for her to correct him.

“Most of that day is a blur.Result of explosions, brainwashing, and later having my memories siphoned back out.Everything directly before and after the accident is basically scrambled.”Light began to swirl around her skin as she concentrated on the the memory.She focused on Carter standing with Lawson.They’d been arguing.Then they hadn’t.“You fought with Lawson. And then you stood really close to me.But that’s it, next thing I knew I was flying.Blown up.Then waking up in space.”

“What did I do, when I was really close?”He was angling his head nearer and nearer to hers.“What did I tell you?”

“You... made me promise something.”She squeezed hers eyes shut, almost in pain at being unable to remember.

His presence was overwhelming her at this distance.Well, damn the consequences.She lurched up and kissed him.The second their lips touched, fragments of memories locked into place.She wouldn’t let go, pressing her body against Carter, her ass lifting off the seat so she could get as close as possible.Even when a poor nurse made a tutting noise as she walked by, Carol couldn’t make herself stop kissing him.Finally, when she could feel his heart pounding at an unhealthy rate, she relented.

“I love you, Steve Rogers.”

“Carol,” he whispered, combing his hands through her hair.

“Holy shit, how could I forget that?” She repeatedly tapped her forehead to his as if she were banging it against a wall.

“Perhaps, it’s better that you did.”Grabbing her hips, he helped situate her back on the couch instead of in his lap.He was unsuccessful because she climbed back into place.

“How did you end up like this?”She began stroking at his body, poking parts.“You don’t leave me do you?” Panic began filling in the silence.

“Since it looks like you’ll be sticking around for a while, not exactly hurrying with the stones are you?I should probably explain.Things branch when we mess with the timeline.I...am not the Steve that’s currently in that room over there.”

“But you’re both Steve.” She bent down and kissed him more, but made sure to back off before he became too stimulated.Benefit, they were technically in a medical facility.

“Yes.That’s true.We were exactly the same until he met you.That’s where our lives diverge.Events in my life after S.H.I.E.L.D. woke me up went differently.I was still an Avenger, we still had cataclysmic catastrophes, the Snap still took place.But our team looked different.”He breathed deeply several times.“And once the blip was over, I felt like I didn’t have anything or anyone left for me there.”

“No one?”Carol’s eyebrows pinched together when he nodded.

“I took the stones to their rightful places on my own.Then, I stayed in the forties and married.But something didn’t sit right with me.”

She nuzzled her nose to his, a tad frustrated that she wasn’t figuring anywhere into his grand love story.

“I had come back to live with her, causing a new branch in reality.In this new one, I was taking up space, so that the future me never came back.Either this reality never had a time heist or, there was another reason he couldn’t return.

“And finally. After almost half a century of waiting, I finally found out why he stayed in the future.Your paperwork had landed on my desk along with a stack of others.I was only supposed to categorize them and assign appropriate handlers.But you would be the first of those I’d left behind.Tony and the other members of my team were still children.The only person I had was Buck, so I wanted to meet you.But I fouled up, because the more time we spent together, the more I knew I was falling into old patterns.”

She tucked a stray hair behind his ear.

“I’d only met my Carol after the snap.She was different; time hadn’t treated her well.One of the harshest, most distant people I’ve met.Even over those five years, I didn't know her as well as I’d thought.And I knew that you were going to leave me, Earth, and everything for years.So, you became an extenuating circumstance that Peggy was willing to tolerate.Much like you coming along while he visits with her.”

“Having your cake and eating it too?You’re such an asshole.”She kissed at his neck until he made a murmuring noise.

“The thing that gets me...Is that you didn’t even remember.”The rumble in his throat had actually been the beginnings of a laugh.“I set up this whole thing so that Fury would call you to Earth earlier. After that, I kept my distance.I was giving you a substitute...and you fell for him completely independent of me.”

She rolled back so she was perched on his knees.“It’s not independent of you.It’s because of you.All of the things that I love about you, he has them too.Yes, he’s a different person, but those qualities are what I’ve been looking for in a partner. If what you’re saying is true...if I hadn’t met you when I did,I wouldn’t be where I am now.”

* * *

_Specific_ _Branch_ _Unidentified_

“I’m in love with you.”

“You’re telling me this now?”

“Better late than never.”

* * *

_Beta 2023_

“I guess this is where we officially call it quits.” Carol was sitting on the forest floor, legs crossed.

She’d followed the sound of whistling straight into the woods surroundingStark’s property.She hadn’t recognized the tune, but she’d fled from her task on instinct.Carter had been waiting patiently for her, leaning against the trunk of the broadest tree.

“Don’t act like this is forever.” He ruffled her hair, and she fell into the touch, resting her head against the side of his thigh.

“We only meet on your terms,” she brought his hand to her mouth so she could kiss his knuckles.“I get the feeling that you won’t be here when I get back.”

Groaning, he slowly slumped down until he was seated next to her.She held his hand the entire time making sure he wouldn’t lose balance.“If we met on yours, nothing would get done.”When he looked at her, his smile filled a small portion of the void in her chest.“Carol, I need you to know something.”

“And you couldn’t have waited until _after_ the stones were plopped back in place?”She glanced in the direction of the cabin.Everyone at the time portal was shouting and scurrying about trying to locate her.She currently had half of the stones stuffed in her breast pocket.“What kind of timing is that anyway?”

“It was important,” he said, followed by a quiet laugh.“I no longer have regrets in my life.You have to play the cards you’re dealt.Initially, things can feel like a mistake.But wallowing in self doubt won’t get you anywhere.You need to trust that things will work out, even if it’s not how you planned.Or how you wanted.Or even how you imagined it.”Before kissing the top of her head, he took in a solid breath of her hair.“I care for you.That’s not something I’ve ever denied.But it’s also something we can’t do anything about.Because the kind of love you expect from me, isn’t mine to give.That has always belonged to someone else.”

“You’re such an asshole,” she muttered near silently, trying to keep her emotions in check.

“What I’m trying to say is...” Hooking his arm around her shoulder, he pulled her in close.“You’re going to be okay.I know it doesn’t feel like it now, and for a while it’s going to feel like never.I’m not telling you that things will magically get better.They won’t.”He slid his fingertips up her cheek, cupping her face, and pressing her to his chest.“But just try.Try your best.Try your hardest.Try with everything you have, even if it feels like you’ve got nothing left, and eventually you’ll get through this.”

The sounds of footfalls in leaves and drones in the air drew closer.Her hiding spot was almost exposed and soon she’d be forced to return, lest anyone think she had second thoughts.Carter shifted as he plucked a pen from his pocket.With only one free hand, he had to pull the cap off with his mouth and spit it to the ground.

“Pull up your sleeve.”

Carol did as she was told and tugged at the fabric of her uniform.

“I don’t have any paper, so I’m going to write this on your wrist.As soon as you can, copy this down and keep it with you.”He glanced at his watch, and then scribbled a series of numbers on her wrist.“There is a strong possibility that your suit might fail.I know that you’re splitting the trip; you can’t exactly take Thor’s hammer back for him.” He laughed, which seemed inappropriate given the urgency.“But these weren’t designed for extended usage.If, and by if I mean _when_ , if the suit fails, this is your ticket home.When you fix it, reboot it, or find some other means of time travel, you’re gonna want this number.These coordinates will bring you to the time travel dais in about ten minutes from now.This will give plenty of wiggle room for your current self to head back to the portal and leave.”

“Fail?” Carol abruptly tipped out of Carter’s hold when he stood up.

“Yes.I told you meeting beforehand was important,” he said, grinning as if their entire conversation were a passing thought.“Now go.” He extended a hand to help her up, even though she made sure not to let him bear the weight.

“Your suit.It failed.”She stood beside him, stunned, but still listening for the Avengers closing in on her.

“Yes.But you need to go.I haven’t spent years under an alias for everyone to suddenly realize I’ve been alive this whole time.”

Cogs kept spinning; everything he said swirled feverishly in her mind.“You...”

“Get going.Now.You need to leave before that time marker passes, otherwise technically, you’ll already be back.But if you aren’t back, that means it didn’t work.So just go.”

“I’m going to miss you, Carter,” she said, pressing a gentle kiss to his cheek. He turned his head, letting her lips briefly sweep across his.

She didn’t look back as she raced toward the compound.His suit had failed.Failed.It hadn’t worked.It hadn’t taken him where he needed to go. He’d never meant to stay.


	3. Stark Contrast

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I you want to check out the podfic:  
> [ The mp3 is here ](https://www.dropbox.com/s/3zah6vkdeq6yk97/CCPart3.mp3?dl=0)

**PART 3: STARK CONTRAST**

_Gamma_ _1946_

The forties wasn’t in the plans.Drop off the stones, head home, and then live the rest of her miserable life.Carter had unraveled the plan in a matter of minutes, and now Carol was chasing a loose thread.

During her time delivering said stones, she’d decided that 1946 would be her best bet.Rogers went missing in 1945.Based on his fortieth wedding anniversary falling in ‘88 or ‘89, she’d have a year or two to convince him.Convince him of what?To not marry his wife.How? She didn’t have a clue.Carol Danvers: Homewrecker - Time Travel Edition.

She sucked in a breath and reminded herself of something.Carter never would have dropped in if he hadn’t intended for her to go back and correct a mistake.

So there she stood, dead center in New York City, with no idea how to find Howard Stark.As the man who ran S.H.I.E.L.D., odds were high that he would believe her cockamamie story.She’d seen the man from a distance a handful of times and met him once.He would grow up distinguished and stern.

The newspapers littering the pavement painted a different picture.America’s Playboy was in legal trouble, but he still managed to frequent nightclubs every weekend.

“Hey,” she said, holding up the article to the news vendor.“Where was this picture taken?”

The man stared at her anachronistic attire.Shrugging as if it weren’t that unusual, he pointed at a building a couple of blocks westward.

“Doesn’t open until five.”

“Don’t worry, I can keep myself busy.”

* * *

Keeping herself busy meant finding anything other than her uniform.She’d doubled up on the heroic costuming; layer one consisted of her redesigned Starforce regalia, layer two was her time-travel suit.Neither one was appropriate compared to the slacks and dresses the women around her were wearing.

In a very shady deal, she’d traded a homeless man earrings for an overcoat.It was midsummer, he believed he could source another one before fall hit.Then, she’d waited.She’d paced, stood, and twiddled her thumbs in front of the club.

Both the employees and random passersby had attempted to relocate her.No one succeeded.She simply glared, and magically asserted her dominance.At least that’s what she thought she was doing.When the owner himself came out and offered her a cocktail dress, she realized that she hadn’t been threatening at all.She’d been an oddity.A beautiful one.Who also happened to smell terrible.

Though she turned down his offer of a ‘permanent position,’ ‘privacy,’ and ‘endless libations,’ she did accept the dress.The gown was silken; its only flaw was an enormous wine splotch down the front.Apparently Stark himself had spilled it on a waitress, and then immediately unloaded enough dough to redress the entire staff.

“Why are you doing this for me, besides the obvious?” Carol asked with a smirk.She was perched on a sofa waiting for the crowds to be let it in.

The owner grinned and signaled for the bartender to fill his drink.“Stark seeks a good time.We provide it, and he takes care of us in return.Rarely do women seek _him_ out.And those that do come looking for him are always... in a certain state.”He raised his eyebrows and cocked his head.His eyes scanned her from top to bottom.“But you aren’t.I’m curious why you’re so transactional.Best case:he appreciates my gift. Worst case: he ignores you and I’ve lost nothing.”

It took two hours, countless drink offers, and endless drunken propositions before Howard Stark arrived.The first thing Carol noticed was how young he was.The man sashayed around like he owned the world, even though he’d barely reached adulthood.Meeting him at Peggy’s party, he’d been brisk and all business. The man had lived and breathed S.H.I.E.L.D. until the day he’d died.She hadn’t attended the funeral, only because it had taken place after she’d left with Lawson.

Seeing Howard alive sent a bolt of electricity up her spine. 

She waved him down.He quirked an eyebrow, wiggled his mustache, and bid farewell to the ladies on each arm.

“What a pleasure it is to see a new face,” he said as flirtatiously as possible.

“Stark?”

“Howard please.We’re all friends here.”

“Howard, I’m an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.” she said, watching his eyes brighten.

“Sorry, have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, feigning ignorance.

She leaned closer, her lips pressing against his ear.“Come now.Is the S.S.R. really the end all be all to your ambitions?”

In an instant, she’d hooked him in a way that no woman had before.

* * *

“So that would make Steve’s timeline the Alpha one?”Howard said, scrawling ‘steve=alpha’ on a fresh sheet of paper.

“No.Since you are working with me, shouldn’t mine be the Alpha?What if Steve actually comes from the last time, like omega or something, but he looped back to the beginning, huh? Think of that.”Carol crossed her arms and scowled with pettiness.

“I’m already having a hell of time believing this timeline bullshit, at least let me make the diagram simple.”

Howard and Carol had spent the past ten minutes arguing about the intricacies of branching timelines.Up until they’d met, he hadn’t even considered the possibility of time-travel.His use of the term ‘future’ had only been metaphorical.He wanted to make the ‘future the present’ through his inventions.The fact that a woman from the actual future was collaborating on a project left him flabbergasted.It didn’t help that she insisted on being correct about everything.Because she was.

“Give me that.” She jerked his paper to her side of the massive dining table. “Fine.Steve is from Alpha if that helps.”

Once she flipped the sheet to the empty side, she drew a black line straight across the middle. She labeled it ‘Alpha.’Then she drew a branch off to the right which she labeled ‘Beta.’Then she drew a branch off ‘Beta’ that she labeled ‘Gamma’.

“Ok.We are going to do this easy style.Baby steps.You following me, genius?”

“Yes.But I’ve never felt this belittled.”

“Whatever. You love it.”She picked up a red colored pencil.“Once Steve came back in time, he started the Beta time line.Events are different solely because he lives here.I have no idea what his was like, since I’m not from it.”She drew a red arc from a point at the end of the Alpha line to the vertex of the Alpha and Beta.“I’m from Beta.However,” she said, taking a green pencil and marking an arc from the end of Beta to the vertex of Beta and Gamma.“Once I came back I created Gamma.In Beta, no Carol comes back for Steve.Or theoretically, I don’t.He never let on that he’d seen me in the past.”She picked up the red pencil again.She made an arc connecting the vertices of Alpha and Gamma. Steve’s red line now looked like an S.“So no matter how many events are changed, they are still connected to their original timeline.If we fix his suit, he can return to Alpha.”Her finger traced along the red mark back to its origin.

“Which is something the both of you want? You won’t be going back to the same place.”He peered at her, still amid the most confusion he’d ever felt in his life.

“Yes.The Steve you know, technically isn’t the one that I know.”

“Good that you’re on the same page. When I told him ‘I think I’m gonna take a stab at that suit of yours a second time,’ he spat his food all over me.He’s usually tempered about personal matters, I didn’t know he could show unadulterated surprise.And he doesn’t even know that I know what it _actually_ does.” He rubbed his chin as he studied her diagram.“Correct me if I’m wrong, but if the Carol from _my_ future travels back and walks in the door right now...we’d _all_ officially be in Delta?”

“Yes.”

He let out a prolonged sigh and took the paper from her.“And then you both put on your sexy little uniforms and fling into the future.Then if I said ‘lets meet in 2023 in Central Park’...you ladies wouldn’t be there.You’d be in Beta; she’d be in Gamma.But I’d still be in Delta?”

“Exactly.”She smiled with relief.

“So why do you want to help him so badly?”

The two of them turned at the sound of someone entering the formal dining room.

“Sir.I know that I shouldn’t interrupt you during work, but dinner is ready.Would you prefer to be served here?”Jarvis glared at the table, gesturing to the one square foot free of debris.Majority of the table was taken up by Carol’s carefully spread out jumpsuit.“Or I can ready the servant’s table in the kitchen.Though that’s hardly appropriate for a female guest.Perhaps the drawing room?”

Carol patted him on the shoulder as she walked toward the kitchen.“Not that type of guest, Jeeves.What’s cookin’?”

“Jarvis,” he said, following after her.

“Yeah.Jarvis. God, talk about daddy issues,” she muttered under her breath.

* * *

Stretches of weeks had gone by, and team “Fix the Suit” was no closer to their goal.No matter what sort of inventions Howard could create on his own, he wasn’t able to replicate his son’s work.Granted, most of Tony’s equipment ran off a yet undiscovered and synthesized element.

“I can’t reconfigure this mother-fu...piece of..fu..shit on a stick,” Howard angrily muttered to himself.He tore off the bulky goggles he was wearing and threw them across the table.Theybounced and hit Carol in the forehead.Thankfully her own goggles protected her from impact.

“Hey, I’m working here,” she said, accidentally dropping a tiny connector from her tweezers.The metallic part fell into a pile of nearly identical, but slightly different parts.She’d been comparing the damaged connector with functional ones from her suit.

While she’d been able to rig a space communicator back in the day, trying to manufacture something this delicate from 1940’s Earth-tech was proving impossible.If her and Howard got even one facet wrong, the suit could A: not work at all, B: send its occupant to the wrong destination, C: Blow up.Based on the radioactive, failed parts Howard kept burying in the woods, C was the most likely outcome.

“You know what, Sweetheart?We need to get outta here,” Howard said, standing up and stretching his back.“We’re not in a rush and neither is Steve.From what I hear, he and Peggy are hitting things off again.She said it was weird in the beginning, comin’ back from the dead, different, and older.But things might actually work out between them.”

Carol snapped the tweezers in two and then melted them in a silver puddle on the tabletop.“No.He was never dead.Steve never died.”

“Obviously we know that. But what’s the harm in him staying.Beta timeline wasn’t so bad.Maybe this is how things are supposed to be.”

She ripped off her goggles, and her eyes glowed.Hiding her powers had been important.She doubted he would have trusted her had he known she could kill him by raising her fist. Men of this era didn’t have the same view of women.Even watching Carter with Peggy had shown her that, and he’d been different than anyone she’d met now.

“Don’t assume you know _anything_ about my life.”Her eyes dimmed, and she could see Howard shifting uncomfortably, trying to process what she’d done.She sucked in a breath and tried to relax.“Maybe we do need a break.”

“You, uh, should probably change outta that.”He pointed at the baggy clothing and smock she’d borrowed from him.“And you might want to do something about your hair.”

She ran her fingers through her greasy locks.“Fine.”

* * *

“This is a bad idea. What if I affect too much?If Steve sees me, our plan might be screwed.”Carol pulled a loose thread on her skirt.

“You need fresh air.You’re clogging up my house with your attitude.And with you there, I can’t bring anyone home.”

“Like you need any more girls?The fact that Jarvis could put together an entire outfit in my size from leftovers, says a lot about you.”Sipping at her orange juice, she tried to hide her sneer. When he rolled his eyes, she knew she’d failed.“But maybe I do need a breather.I was never a good teacher.Or student either.So trying to teach you everything you need to know about spacial jumps...”Exhaustedly, she fell forward until her forehead touched the formica tabletop.“How the hell did they cram me with everything I needed to join Starforce in 6 years, when I’d only had a rudimentary understanding of human tech before?How can I get you to repair nano-tech when the Space Race isn’t even a thing yet?You bastards can’t get to outer space, much less through time.”

“Yeouch.Bet you didn’t have many friends, much less a man.”

She banged her head repeatedly against the table in response.The curls that Jarvis had secured into place bounced stiffly.

“Maybe coffee wasn’t bold enough.How about we hit up a club tonight?”

“Seriously?” She rolled onto her cheek so that she could glare at him.“You choose now to hit on me?”

“Honey, I’ve been trying since I met you.Nice blonde with brains too?Soon as I knew you weren’t crazy, I’ve been trying my damnedest.Not that crazy has stopped me before.”

“Shit.” She lurched out of her seat and grabbed his hand, pulling him up with her.

“Is that a yes or a no?The language says no, but the dragging me looks like a yes.”He managed to pull a wad of cash out of his pocket and throw it a passing waitress.

“No,” she said, slamming open the glass door.“Steve just walked down the street.We need to get out of here.”

“Why are you so against meeting him.You literally came just to fix his life, but you won’t meet with him.”

“Complicated.” She was trying to walk briskly, while not ripping Howard’s arm from it’s socket.

“Ca...Is that y... Carol?”A voice boomed over the city traffic.

She muttered an expletive under her breath, and then darted into an alleyway.Before he could argue, she lifted Howard into her arms like a blushing bride.With his face so close to hers, she wondered if he was in fact embarrassed, or just so incredibly unfit that he was red from their dashing around.“Hold on tight.”They’d never be able to outrun Steve.Even on a slow day, he could lap her.However, she did have an advantage.“Don’t panic.You’re completely safe.”

Her entire body blazed and she shot straight upward.As soon as they were above the buildings, she flew close to the rooftops.Once she felt they were safely out of Steven’s sightline she headed straight into the air, spinning in loops that she hadn’t been able to do since coming to the past.It had felt like forever since she’d last flown.The concern that any passerby might see her, didn’t bother her.Let them look, they’d just claim it was a UFO.No way a human could be bolting across the sky.

“Stop screaming in my ear.Know that I can deposit your ass in space and leave you there.”She watched as Howard shut his mouth and tucked himself against her chest.“Thank you.”

* * *

After letting the night bleed into day, the coast should have been clear.Howard couldn’t get over the novelty of flying unaided.They’d dipped their toes in the Arctic Ocean (she’d made sure to warm them immediately after).They’d watched the sunrise from the tops of the tallest trees. They’d barrel rolled in the morning light over the desert where P.E.G.A.S.E.U.S. would house its facility.

When she’d asked him to stop screaming in fear, she hadn’t expected him to remain silent.Usually, he was such a chatterbox.Yet, the only times he’d spoken had been expressions of delight and surprise.She’d almost wished she hadn’t changed into one of his paramour’s outfits.If she’d been wearing her uniform, she could’ve offered him her helmet.With that on, she could’ve taken him up into the stars.They’d have to save that for another day.

As soon as they’d landed in the Southwest, he’d begun shivering when he’d let go of her.

“The mornings can get pretty cold here.Environment doesn’t hold onto the heat once the sun goes down,” she said with a smile forming.

Holding out her arms, she invited him back into her embrace.He sighed happily when her light and heat surrounded him again, like it had done almost without end.

His hands slipped beneath her blouse and skimmed her back.“You’re so warm.I should be making calculations.Taking notes for future projects, but I’m having too much fun.”The way he tucked his face against her neck muffled his voice.

“I guess we both needed a break.You’re right.You relax by gettin’ some, and I’ve been cockblocking you.”

“I don’t know what that means, but I’ll assume you’re making fun of me like usual.”

“Not this time.” She laughed, and then squeezed him in a tighter hug, lifting him a little. 

Wearing the heels Jarvis had forced on her, she and Howard were the same height.She was so used to him swooping around her in the mansion, that it was a little jarring to be so intimate with him.She set him down, but made sure to project enough warmth should he choose to let go.He didn’t.For a second, she could see what countless women saw in his warm brown eyes.The fingertips against her lower back began to ghost across her skin.

They were looking at each other so dead on that there was no way she didn’t predict his next action.Closing her eyes, she let him kiss her.It felt nothing like kisses she’d shared with other partners. His skill and enthusiasm showed, yet something was missing.It lacked passion.

“We probably shouldn’t do that.”She opened her eyes to see his filled with disappointment.

“Hon, I literally tell you I adore you.Then you take me on the world’s greatest date.Why shouldn’t we do this?”He leaned in for another kiss, but she dodged so that his mustache brushed her cheek.“You are the most amazing thing to happen to me, and I already lead a pretty damn exciting life,” he mumbled against her temple.

“I brought you to this place for a reason.” She gently pushed his hands away from her waist.“You need to understand something.I came back in time not just for Steve.”Balling her hand into a fist, she held it up and aimed it at a stubby round tree.She fired a photon blast, incinerating the tree in a merciless blaze.“The Tesseract is more dangerous than you can anticipate.Everyone I’ve ever loved has been hurt by it.”

He reached out and placed a hand over her fist, letting the heat disperse across his arm.

“Not just hurt.Countless people die.The Great War.World War II.The numbers don’t compare.You couldn’t possibly conceive the scale,” she said, tapping his forehead.“And this is the location where you play your part in that destruction.I am the way I am because of your negligence with that stupid cube.I know you won’t believe me.Not unless I do something like level a city block.But I could.And that’s only a fragment of it’s power.”

Howard began to nervously gnaw at his lip, blood dripping down his chin.

“Believe me or don’t.You’ll probably take it as a challenge.But if you do, than half of all living things are going to die, Howard.And that’s on you.”

“Then why bother with all of this?” He gestured at the vastness of the desert.“Stay with me.Keep me in check.”

She smiled weakly.“That’s not how this works.Because I have a little secret.”

“You’ve had no problem sharing the secrets of the universe before, why now?”

“You really want to know?”She watched him pause, then nod.“Ok.Mr. Stark, you are going to create the most amazing gift that the universe has ever seen.That creation... it’s worth more than anything ever has been, or ever will be.”She tapped his heart with her index finger.“You do that.But if I stay in the way that you want,” she said, before pressing a light kiss to his cheek, “it’s never gonna happen.And that’s one thing I refuse to alter.I can be as selfish as I want about Rogers, but I can’t be selfish about you.”

She tried to ignore the sick irony.Steve had destroyed all possibilities of a relationship on account of Tony.Now she was on the opposite side of a similar conversation, and once again Tony was the reason.Messing with time would only ever bite her in the ass.

“Better get home before Jarvis thinks the Feds are on to me again.”Howard’s joke lacked all of his usual humor.“This is gonna be awkward,” he said, looping an arm over her shoulder so that she could lift him.

“Doesn’t have to be.You weren’t awkward with our waitress.I heard her babbling to one of the other girls.Said you were the best she ever had.”

“I slept with the waitress?When did that happen?”He snorted in surprise.

“Don’t look at me. I wasn’t there.”She scooped beneath his knees and hoisted him up.“Next stop, Chez Stark.”

* * *

They traveled back to New York, staying high enough to be mistaken for a plane, but low enough for Howard to breathe easily.She missed the days of flying with no concern of someone gunning her down.Tony had mockingly called Steve a simpleton, but she could now see the appeal.She could live like this, and she almost regretted wanting to take that away from him.Almost.

The Stark mansion came into view, but they landed near the back entrance just in case.

“I hope you have a reasonable explanation for that, Sir,” Jarvis said as he ran onto the lawn to greet them.“My poor wife is an emotional wreck since I’d promised to finally stay in last night.Instead you two went galavanting all evening and return by air?!” Reaching out, he began patting the wrinkles from Howard’s outfit.

“I’ll give you a bonus to buy Ana something nice,” Howard said, swanning his way into the house.Immediately after crossing the threshold, he pivoted and yelled, “Run!”

There was a scramble of sound, dirt, flames, and limbs.Howard tumbled from the porch steps into a flower bed.Carol lifted off the ground trying to rocket into the sky.Steve propelled out the door and leapt from the deck.His body slammed into hers, grabbing hold of her upper thigh.She shrieked when his hand accidentally slipped beneath her skirt, copping a feel.The two people teetered off axis and crashed into a large oak.The tree ignited, but the superheated sap within caused the entire thing to explode.

Jarvis ducked into the swimming pool, the rose bush took any shrapnel targeted at Howard, and Steve flattened Carol to the ground, protecting her.

With a blub, Jarvis surfaced.“Sir, did I mention that you’ve had a guest waiting?”

“Next time, lead with that.I thought I said no visitors until we were done with the project?”Howard said, trying to untangle himself from the thorny bush.

“Given that the equipment belongs to Mr. Rogers, I saw no harm.”Jarvis slid off his jacket and squeezed out the excess water.

Ashes fluttered from the sky like grey snowflakes.They landed in Steve’shair and along the length of his bare back.Carol soon realized, that in her reckless behavior, she’d incinerated his clothing.Hers, as with anything she actively protected in her aura, was perfectly intact.Jarvis took squelching steps toward them, then threw his soggy jacket over Steve’s exposed rear end.

“Stop running away from me,” Steve said, panting into her neck.

“The running is the problem?The blowing up not so much?”Carol asked, lying completely still beneath him.

“Not so much.”He sighed, and then rolled off her.“Wouldn’t be the first time.”

She didn’t look at him until she was positive his private parts were covered.When she saw his face, she wasn’t ready for her breath to flee from her lungs.This was a young Carter; she knew and expected that.This was a man that she’d known fairly well later in his life.She also knew, that by definition he was Steve Rogers.But she’d kept fooling herself into believing he couldn’t be.

This man looked exactly the same as she remembered him.The same age.The same size.The same smile with the exact right number of crinkles beside his eyes.

“Steve,” she whispered, unaware that she was speaking aloud.

He sat up, and then pulled her up beside him. Smoothing the wrinkles from her blouse and her skirt over her knees, his touch elicited goosebumps all over her skin.He slipped off her shoes since one of the heels dangled loosely from the sole.

Carter was a lying son of a bitch.As an agent, she shouldn’t have expected him to be truthful, but she’d trusted him.The tenderness with which Steve touched her proved that they’d been far more than teammates.Something else entirely must have happened in the Alpha timeline.

‘ _The kind of love you expect from me... has always belonged to someone else.’_

She’d had her suspicions, but now she had proof.He’d never been talking about Peggy.He’d played the hand he was dealt, but not the one he’d wanted.

She caressed his cheek and he’d leant into it with a near-silent whimper.

“You came for me,” he whispered back, angling toward her.

“Not quite.” Reflexively, she covered his mouth with her palm.

“Hate to break up the reunion, but I hear sirens.Someone probably called me in for settin’ fire to the neighborhood the third time this year,” Howard said coarsely.

“Third time?” Carol whipped around to see Howard shrug his shoulders before heading inside.

“Last thing I need is to pay off more officers of the law.And I’m not breaking Rogers outta jail for indecent exposure.”

“If you join us in the sitting room, I shall prepare us all clean garments,”Jarvis said, holding the door open for Carol and Steven to enter.

* * *

After everyone had bathed and dressed, they all sat around the dining table.Howard was in his usual finery, Carol was in her usual baggy shirts and pants, and Steve was wearing a robe.Neither Howard’s nor Jarvis’s clothes were big enough for him.

“I shall be retiring for the evening.If you need anything Mr. Stark, make sure to give me a ring,” Jarvis said as he left the room.

“Where do we even begin?” Howard said, fingering his mustache.“You probably have questions.”

Steve didn’t even answer.His focus was fixed on the woman sitting across from him.“You never cut your hair?”

Carol nervously ran her fingers from roots to ends.Was there something wrong?It fell in loose waves to just below her breasts.Only about five inches or so differentiated it from the length it had been when she’d returned to Earth in 2012.She worried an end with her fingernail, causing a split to form.

“No.”

“That’s good.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with you.”

“Not much.”There was a pause, and then he smoothed his hair, finishing the movement by propping his chin on his palm.His expression was mostly unreadable, but Carol could tell it was a lie.“What brings you to town?”

“We have your suit,” she said gesturing at the mess on the table.“No use pretending.Howard knows what it does.”

“Oh.”Steve straightened up and finally acknowledged the other man in the room.Frowning, he asked, “Why didn’t you let me know? I could have helped out.”

Carol snorted, and then covered her mouth when Steve looked at her.She held up a hand, pretending that she hadn’t just insinuated that he wasn’t smart enough to assist.

“You’re serious about this?” Howard interjected.“Honestly I just took this up so I could scratch an itch.If we didn’t get it up and running, no harm no foul.”He furrowed his eyebrows and gave Steve a look that fell just shy of longing.“If it works...do you actually plan on...using it?”

The room felt like all the air had been sucked out.Carol likened it to drowning; the air had diffused out and terror had slammed it’s way in.Howard was a direct person, but no one should have asked a question like that.What was Steve supposed to say? ‘Yep. Had a blast, vacation was good, but I miss the future. See ya later suckers!’

Seconds ticked by without an answer.Finally Steve stretched his shoulders and cracked his neck.“Who knows?But can’t a guy visit his friend’s house?”He smirked, and Howard sighed.

* * *

Autumn leaves now covered the grounds of the mansion, but Jarvis was too busy inside constantly cleaning up after Howard and his guests.

Howard tightened the strap on his goggles and indicated Carol do the same.“Test one.Human Subject.”He cocked his finger like a gun and pointed it at Steve. “Go!”

“Stop pretending this is a test.What if it actually works?You’re going to regret not saying goodbye,” Steve said, puffing out his chest.

“Just try the damn thing.If it works, then best of luck.If it doesn’t...then I hope you don’t die.”Carol, rolled backward in her chair, creeping closer to the wall.

Steve held up his arm.“I’m going to miss you two.”

When he engaged the button, Carol almost thought it had worked.There was a bright flash that caused her to blink even with her goggles on.As it turned out, the flash was Steve’s suit breaking out in flames.Smoke pumped steadily out of his visor and he had to remove his helmet entirely.She couldn’t stop laughing as he rapidly stripped and tripped his way across the drawing room.Howard wasn’t nearly as pleased when the suit was tossed onto an ebony piano which immediately caught fire.

Jarvis aimed flame retardant at the instrument first before finally soaking Steve in the slurry.

“You knew that was gonna happen, assholes,” Steve said, pouting like the wet creature he was.

“It was a possibility.” Carol pushed off the wall so that she could speedily roll toward Steve.

“More like probability,” Howard added, trying not to laugh.

She chucked off her goggles so that she could get a better look.Back in the garden, she’d assumed that he hadn’t been burned because of her proximity.He was someone she would never hurt, no matter how startled.It would have been reflexive.However, his skin remained undamaged by the current explosion. He wasn’t even red.

“You’re fireproof.”When she tugged at his hair, she expected it to break off.

“Always have been,” he said, brushing her hand away.“Howard knows that.”

“But you’re not bulletproof.I’ve seen you bruise plenty of times.”

“It’s a temperature thing.You’re surprised by the heat, but forget that I survived extreme cold.No frostbite here.”He wiggled his fingers in front of her nose.“Thermoregulation is something I happen to be good at.It’s necessary if I need to exert myself for extended periods of time.”

Carol found herself flushing with heat and prayed that it was internal.Few things could be more humiliating than literally lighting up while she imagined a particularly explicit way he might exert himself.

“Bulletproof isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.I rather be human.”He leaned down and whispered into her ear so that Howard couldn’t hear.“Which would you prefer, cold vibranium, or warm skin?”

“Oh god,” Carol slurred, frozen in her chair.

Steve stood back and laughed heartily.He clutched his stomach, amused at himself for finding a joke of equal punishment.They’d knowingly set him up to explode, and he’d set her up to implode.She growled before stomping off to the kitchen.

* * *

“Why don’t you just stay here with us?It’d be easier than you traveling everyday.I’m payin’ for your housing either way.And Jarvis is busy enough toting Peg around.”

Steve visibly flinched at the mention of Peggy’s name.“I told you I’d pay you back as soon as they settle my checks.”

“What, being Captain America doesn’t pay the bills?” Carol asked.Technically, she couldn’t earn anything.Howard graciously paid all of her expenses.Though he might not have known it, he also supplied her pocket money via Jarvis.Now that everyone had agreed not to sequester themselves, she’d needed cash to travel and buy lunch on her days off.She was slightly bitter that Steve made his own money, however little that was.

“That’s not the problem.” Steve gave her a surprisingly endearing smile.Her snapping back hadn’t affected him in the least.“I just wanted to live alone for a while.”

“Oh, righty-o.Dropped Peggy like a sack of potatoes, moved out, and wanted to live that bachelor life.”Carol was having a ridiculously hard time controlling herself.The idea that this man shared a face with the Steve in her timeline left her off kilter.He’d grow up to marry Peggy and be a big-ole jackass.She refused to sympathize with him.

Howard furrowed his eyebrows.“He doesn’t live with Peg.That wouldn’t be proper.”

“Sure, Don Juan.Like you can talk. I, an unmarried woman, live with you.”

Before she and Howard could bicker any further, Steve interrupted.“I didn’t live with Peggy.But that’s not to say that I haven’t with someone else.I recently got out of a long term relationship.” His tone was surprisingly calm.“So you might see why I’m hesitant about staying here.”

Carol could feel his eyes on her the whole time.The heat rose from her stomach and pooled in her chest.If she hadn’t been wearing her bulky men’s shirt, a flush of red would have shown as it rushed up her neck.Thankfully her hair covered her ears.

The information kept slowly stacking up the more she got to know him.Not only had he obviously loved her in his timeline, they’d lived together.There had been quiet moments in the middle of the night when she’d held a secret thought.Deep in the vastness of her soul, she wondered what would happen if they both stayed.Just like in Beta, he wouldn’t make it back to Alpha.But this time, she would stay with him.Would he still marry Peggy?Would events still follow their original course. If so, what would happen to her in the meanwhile?

The fact that he’d lived with the Alpha version of her put an end to all those thoughts.She would never suffice as a substitute, not for someone he’d loved that much.

She doubted anyone could replace what she’d left behind.

* * *

Steve dialed on the radio so that he and Carol could listen. Effort and precision were necessary to land on anything other than broadcast programs or news.He flushed with embarrassment when a Captain America show blared from the speakers.

“Why Captain, what ever shall I do without you?” a woman with a girlish voice piped in.

“Nothin’ could keep me from coming home to you, not even...” a man both seductive and aggressively masculine said.

Carol never did find out what couldn’t keep the Captain away, because Steve masked the show with coughing and spun to the next station.Jazz music began filling the room.

“Where they gettin’ their information from?You sound nothing like that,” Carol prodded.

“You’ve never been to one of the USO shows.”He rubbed the bridge of his nose and then walked over to her.“Believe me, I was worse.”

“Prove it.”She stood up and took the hand he was offering her. 

She spun into his arms and they began dancing across the floor.He was surprisingly light on his feet.Somehow, after all these years, she’d assumed that he would clomp around in every aspect of his life.His usual tactic in battle was to crash into things.With no effort whatsoever, he could fling her out, pull her back in, and lift her.When he dipped her, he slid his hand firmly along her thigh so she wouldn’t tumble to the floor but her hair would still graze the marble tiles.

It wasn’t the weightless feeling of space, but she felt equally free and secure.If he wanted to, he could balance her on the tip of his finger.For a moment, she forgot they were dressed in coveralls, soaked in grease, and tracking foot prints all over the sitting room that Jarvis so desperately tried to keep pristine.

“Why is it so easy with you?” she asked, pulling up against his chest and slipping her hands over his shoulders.

“Dancing? I’ve had practice.”

“No. Being with you.No matter how many times I’ve tried, I can’t replicate this dynamic.Things always get screwy.Yet, being _your_ friend is so damn simple.”

He hummed with the music for a second, thinking on his answer.“Maybe that’s what you need right now.”

“Don’t go all sappy on me.Like ‘when you’re not looking for love is when it finds you.’Or some equally sentimental bullcrap,” she said, tucking her cheek against his.This move actually required that she float so he wouldn’t have to hunch.

He kept swaying them slowly across the room, ignoring her glow and levitation.“Who do you think I am?That’s not what I was getting at.You need a friend...because I need one.I’ve already found the person I want to spend forever with.You can see that.Even Peggy could see that, which is why she let me go.”He turned to meet her gaze.“And you’re in love with someone too.But that person isn’t me.We’re completely off the table for each other.”When he grinned, she did the same.“So until we can get back to them, being friends is a coping mechanism.”

“Wow. You’re such a romantic Capn’.Callin’ a lady a ‘coping mechanism’,” she said in a voice mocking the broadcast from earlier.

He opened his mouth, prepared to mimic his own radio counterpart.Then instead of words, he cleared his throat and laughed.“Ok.I can’t do it. Too embarrassing.”

He grabbed her hand and spun her out of his hold.What she didn’t expect was to be flung into Howard.Apparently he’d entered the room when they’d been chatting.

“Awe, and here I was expecting a show.” Howard said, sweeping Carol in a chaotic zig-zag across the room.

She giggled at the frenetic way he guided her around.He was known for his capability to woo any woman, but she doubted dancing was on his list of moves that sealed the deal.Someone other than a pilot would probably get sick from his jerky, patternless steps.

“Needed a break.But we’ll be getting back to work in sec.”

“So I did miss all the fun.”

“Guess so,” she said with a wink.

* * *

“I’m having a hell of time trying to keep track of your respective histories,” Howard said as he pushed his goggles up to his forehead.“We are so close to cracking this suit.Both of you are gonna leave me, and I’m gonna have no understanding of the future.Give me some hints.”

Steve, less adept at soldering microscopic parts together, was sitting around wiping hand tools clean.“You have a fortune as it is.It’s not like you need to win the lotto.”

“Bookies aren’t my thing.”

“No,” Carol interrupted.“That shit starts to get government run with payouts in the billions.”She rubbed her fingers together in a Howard approved gesture for ‘cha-ching.’“But don’t look at us.I never cared so I don’t know the numbers that would help you cheat.”

The gleam that had briefly filled Howard’s eyes promptly died.“Fine.But it seems like you two can’t even agree on the future as is.So why don’t we play a game.Jarvis!The scotch!”

“This is going to be bad,” Steve said, placing his needle file and towel on the lamp stand behind him.

“Don’t be a spoil sport,” she said, walking over and sitting on the armrest of his chair.

Jarvis wordlessly entered, deposited a tray with glasses, liquor, and freshly baked cookies on a coffee table by the fireplace.Steve scooted his chair until he and Carol could reach the glasses.Howard swanned his way over, in the manner he did anything with a measured level of excitement. 

“Ok,” Howard said as he inelegantly plopped himself onto a couch.“Here are the rules.One of you makes a statement about the future.Preferably one that involves the both of you.If it’s false in your timeline, you take a sip.”

“How is that fair for you?” Carol asked.

“Easy peasy.I’ll be the one to drink when you actually have events in common.Mostly I just want to watch and learn.”

“Fine.”Steve filled the glasses and passed them out.“I’ll go first. You have two nieces.”

Carol drank, but lifted an eyebrow.“Who are my nieces?Is this by blood, or marriage?”

“Neither.Your first is Monica.”He waited for her to nod.“Secondly, you became extremely close with Talos and Soren.You adore their daughter and are basically godmother to their grandchildren.”

“Damn.Talos is nice and all, but I never expected that.Guess it’s my turn.Coming up with questions is harder than I thought.Hmmm, got it.You find Scott irritating.”She immediately grinned at Howard.

Steve laughed and patted Carol’s thigh. “That wasn’t very nice.”

When Howard realized no one else was drinking, he rolled his eyes and sipped his scotch.

“Ok, ok.I’ll do a real one.I’ve been on a date with Rhodey.”

Steve made a startled little noise in his throat before taking a sip from his glass.“Rhodey...really?”

“Cross my heart.Only once, and he was weird about it.The man can go on and on about himself for hours.Tony set us up thinking that because we’d both served, we’d have at least something in common.Turns out he was wrong.”

“Go bigger.Give up the goods.”Howard brandished his glass in their direction.

“Global stuff?I thought you wanted personal,” Steve asked.

“Both.I’m curious.”

“Captain Marvel didn’t return to Earth until after the Snap.”

“You have no idea how sorry I am.”Her voice softened and she brushed his ever growing fringe back.His hair was long enough now that it fell past his ears, and what was once shaved in the back now dusted his collar.Slipping off the armrest, she slid fully into his lap.

“It’s not your fault.”Gently, he stroked at her back and made sure she stayed balanced.

“I should have been with you since the beginning.Fury called me just after the battle for New York.”

“We were together that long?”

Carol reached for her glass and finally took a sip.“Together is such a loose term.I loved you.”Somewhere in her peripheral vision, she could see Howard refilling the other two glasses.“But we were never a couple.You didn’t want a relationship to get in the way of team camaraderie.Or some shit like that.”

Steve reached for the bottle and downed it’s remaining contents.Neither would let Howard know they were immune to it’s effects.The game was supposed to be fun, especially since no one else was allowed in the house for the time being.Carol wished the alcohol could work like Lawson’s concoction had all those years ago.She assumed Steve wished for something similar.

“I don’t understand,” he whispered, cupping the side of her face in his hand.“How could you let that happen?”

“It’s just how things worked out.”

“Carol, you never let people tell you what to do.”

She smiled weakly.“I wish I knew this person you’re describing, but she isn’t me.”

“Promise me.We’re both going to make things right.Neither of us is taking no for an answer.”He ruffled her hair and then squeezed her into a near-rib cracking hug.

“Aye Aye, Sir,” she said, giving him a playful salute.

* * *

The brisk weather of fall passed and winter soon came to the East coast.A storm brought rain to some states and heavy snowfall to others.The mansion had central heating of Howard’s own design, so it’s inhabitants didn’t notice the cold that plagued their neighbors.At least that had been the case until the middle of the night.

Carol woke up shivering in her sheets.All of the electrical was still going, she could flip the lights on and off, but whatever heated the house had unceremoniously died in their sleep.Each bedroom was equipped with a fireplace meant for romantic ambiance. This was one time that Howard’s excessive preparation came in handy.However, there was no wood.

When she checked the clock, she decided that no one would mind a woman taking a midnight flight into the forest.If anyone were looking out their windows at three in the morning, that was their own fault.What a sight it would have been, given she was wearing a nightgown.

In a only a matter of minutes, Carol had flown out her window, kicked over a tree, and punched the log until it shattered into pieces small enough to fit in a fireplace.The only frustrating bit of her task was the multiple trips it took to deliver the wood to the storeroom.

When she returned, she considered lighting Howard’s fireplace first.Then she thought better of it.Even if he promised not to, there was always the possibility that his bed was filled to capacity with strange women.Shaking her head at the thought, she sauntered down the hallway to Steve’s room.

“You awake in there?” she whispered, in case he was in fact still asleep.

A faint electrical hum seeped under the door, but he didn’t answer.

“I’m coming in.Please don’t sleep naked,” she said, more to herself than anyone else.

The room was surprisingly bright.Even with all the lights off, she could make her way around by the moonlight spilling in.Her room was in a different wing of the house, and thus wasn’t privy to the moon that night.The only part of Steve visible was the top of his head.He was huddled beneath his blanket, with his hair fluffed from static.The closer Carol got, the more she realized the hum was coming from the bedding itself.

“What’s that crap about _thermoregulation_?You sleep with an electric blanket,” she said, dropping the logs on the floor so she could cross her arms.

“What the h...” Steve said, bolting straight up and pawing uselessly for his shield, which happened to be on a chair across the room.“Good Lord, it’s just you.”He rolled his shouldersand then rubbed at his eyes.“Care to explain what you’re doing?”

“Heat went out,” she said as she crouched to pick the firewood back up.“I decided to get a fire going until Howard can fix the furnace.”

When she reached the hearth, she stuck her arm up the flue and sent a cursory blast.If any debris were clogging the chimney, it was toast now.

“Why don’t you make the repairs yourself?” Steve asked, disappearing back under the covers.

Carol arranged the logs and suddenly felt foolish.Odds were high that she could have easily fixed the furnace.The idea had never occurred to her.The woods beyond the house had been too inviting.

“So...that’s all.I’m gonna head back now.” She stood up and blasted the fireplace alight.

Steve rolled to look at her, and then dropped the blanket below his mouth so he could speak.“Don’t think I’m gonna let you get away after you made fun of my quilt.”He lifted an edge of the bedding and crooked a finger.“Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”

“Might as well.”She dove under the covers and curled up against him.She couldn’t tell which was hotter, the warmth from his skin or the wires within the blanket.The two coupled together rivaled the heat radiating from a star whenever she flew past.

“Nice right?”Without asking, he lazily slid his arm over her waist and scooted closer.“Tell me, Danvers.Why the fires?You can keep yourself plenty warm with your abilities.”

“True.But it’s also a pain in the ass.Doing this,” she said, taking a moment to glow and immediately extinguish herself, “is like flexing a muscle.It can be involuntary like blinking.I’d never freeze without my body trying to protect me first.But just like blinking, by the end of the day you become so exhausted you can’t keep your eyes open.If I tried to stay warm while sleeping, I’d be drained in no time.”

“Interesting,” Steve said, though obviously uninterested because he yawned.

Carol hadn’t noticed they’d both fallen asleep until someone clambered into the room.

“The house is freezing.Steve, you ok?”Howard asked, ripping back the blanket.

By the expression of pure shock on his face, he hadn’t anticipated a second person in the bed.

“What is with you guys?Does privacy mean nothing?”Steve muttered.

He grabbed Howard by the sleeve of his housecoat and yanked him down.Carol found herself in a man-sandwich.Somehow, in all the time she’d lived there, she’d never pictured herself in the middle.She’d always imagined Howard pinned between two redheads in lingerie.Instead, she was squished against one man in a housecoat and full pajamas — pants and long sleeves included — and another man in a T-shirt and underwear — socks included.Not exactly the stuff fantasies were made of.

“One tiny blizzard isn’t going to hurt me.”Steve answered the question both Carol and Howard had been too timid to voice.

“But you are going to leave us,” Howard said.He pressed against Carol’s back so that he could stretch to hug Steve and her simultaneously.

“Not yet.”

The suit was nearly fixed.Preliminary tests had shown that almost every section was receiving adequate signals.If they kept up with the breakthroughs, he would be home before spring.

Carol placed her hand over Howard’s so they could both hold onto Steve for a little while longer.Once they were certain he was asleep, they snuck back to their own rooms.

* * *

_Gamma 1947_

Clouds thick with snow left, while fog floated above the ground in their place.Spring had arrived and the mansion was still the liveliest it had ever been. The suit, however, remained as dead as the last time Carol had checked.

No matter how many connections they tweaked, components they replaced, or powers they surged through circuits, nothing changed.The hand-piece that controlled the time travel element remained dark.Whatever _it_ was that made the whole thing go, was irreplaceable in the 40’s.

Tensions were running high, and the only person unbothered was Steve. His unending optimism had worn it’s welcome.Howard and Carol had nearly opposite reasons to be irritated by it.

Howard sensed that failure was the only outcome.This was ideal because he didn’t want either of his friend’s to go anywhere.

Carol could usually fix anything that she’d set her mind to.If she failed here, that meant her entire time spent in the past had been in vain.The future would proceed just at it previously had.She _needed_ Steve to leave.She was down to one option, and she knew no one would approve.

“Hey.Can I have a moment with Howard,” she said, pushing away Steve who had been craning over her shoulder.

“Why?” he asked.His full beard scratched her cheek as he straightened.

“Science stuff.”

“Ooh, I love when you talk smart-woman to me,” Howard chimed in from across the worktable.

“Both of you.Control yourselves.Leave me alone, Steve, and Howard, please just take me seriously,” Carol snapped.

“I didn’t mean,” Howard said, before he quieted and practically melted into his chair.

Steve had an equally disappointed face. 

“God damn you both.” Standing up she threw a small tantrum and chucked a vita-ray meter across the room.It beeped when it smashed into the wall.“You.Stop hovering.Hovering’s never helped anyone.And you,” she said, turning to glare at Howard, “stop being an ass.Me: Officer.Has a degree.Him: Enlisted. Idiot.Moron.Runs around throwing a discus at anything that moves.Do not put us on the same level.”Running her hand through her hair, she tried to calm herself by taking a breath.“If I say I need to talk to you privately, then shut your mouth and listen to me.”

“Carol, we both respect you.”Steve slowly backed up toward the door.“I get it.We are all reaching the end of this, whatever the outcome might be.If I’ve done something to upset you, I’m sorry.”

Once they were alone, Carol sat back down.Howard walked over and squeezed her shoulder.The touch was reassuring.It hadn’t been flirtatious.The gesture had been something she’d seen him do both to Jarvis and Steve.The latter had happened when the men hadn’t known she’d been watching.They’d been having a conversation, and she’d heard her name come up.Steve had never looked as hopeless as he had in that moment.When she’d almost interjected, the context changed.The Carol mentioned hadn’t been her.

“How long are you willing to put up with me?” she asked.

“As long as it takes,” Howard answered.

“You better not take that back.”

* * *

Steve stood before them, fully suited up.All of the joints shifted seamlessly as he took a preliminary lap around the room.His movement was silent and fluid, unlike the test run that destroyed the baby grand.The connections had pinched him and the grating of friction had seared through Carol’s ears that time.

Without a doubt, the suit was fixed.No more trials were needed.The equipment might be dodgy enough to possibly catch fire; the repairs were very much a ‘one time use’.But he could go home.Carol watched as he changed from jogging jubilantly to pacing nervously.

“What’s up?” she asked.

“I don’t know if I’m ready.”

“The guy takes a year long detour, but doesn’t know if it’s long enough? Give me a break,” Howard said, crossing the sitting room.

The three individuals stood in front of the fireplace.

“You’ve never been more ready.Or do you really want to hang out here for the rest of your life?No internet, no space travel, weak booze...” she began ticking off a list on her fingers, “...no classic rock,no computers, which means no F.R.I.D.A.Y. scheduling your appointments.”

“I get it.”He curled his hand over hers until she held a fist.

“Wait, I’ve got one more.”She grinned.“And there’s no Carol.”

“Technically there’s a Carol,” he said, a laugh almost built before it was extinguished.

“Nope, no Carol.”She crossed her arms into an X.“You choose to stay and I’m gonzo.You choose to leave and I’m still outta here.”

He continued to laugh before patting her on the head.“You are always going to be that way, aren’t you?Do me a favor, OK.”

“Which is?” she asked, resting her hand on her hip.

“Stop running.I’m an old man.I’m tired, but it’s impossible not to chase you.If you aren’t going to wait, at least give someone a head start.”

“Right,” she said sarcastically.“And doesn’t moving to the past qualify as running away?”

He grinned that toothy grin that always made her question how many teeth fit in his mouth.

“I had a cramp.”He pinched at her side, causing her to buckle.“But now I’m ready to get back out there.”

“Enough with the metaphors.”She huffed and swiped his arm away.When she’d regained his full attention, she pressed against his body in a hug.“Goodbye, Captain Rogers.It was fun while it lasted.”

He held her in such a warm hug.She was letting go of her best friend, but she was allowed a goodbye. A proper one.A send off.He was leaving to somewhere safe, even if it wasn’t with her.She had given him a proper exit, and he had given her closure.

“No ‘I’ll miss you’?”When he spoke, his lips brushed her temple.

“I won’t, and neither should you.Missing implies you’ve left something irreplaceable behind.”She looked up and they locked eyes.“Promise me not to make that mistake again, and I’ll promise to stop running.”

After they held each other long enough that Howard cleared his throat, Carol glanced down.“Those numbers are wrong,” she said, taking a good look at the suit’s control piece.

“Oh, I wasn’t sure how to set it.Tony and Bruce had handled all the exact data.So Howard did it.”

“Thank God I’m here.You would have been eaten by a dinosaur.”She brought his wrist to her face and started fiddling with the dials.“Nebula insisted the use of the InterPlanetary-Travel-Clock.Not everything is Gregorian calendar, Eastern Standard time.Weren’t you listening during those meetings?”

“Not particularly, no.I supervised.And how are you sure you’ll send me to the right time?”

Carol finished setting the device and looked up.She smiled softly, mostly to herself.“This is a lucky charm.I’m not the only one looking out for you.”

The numbers blinked in the exact order Carter had begged her to memorize.

“Thank you.”

“Yeah, well, I wasn’t gonna put in all the work so you could be T-Rex chow.”

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear.“ Really, Carol, _thank_ _you_. For everything.When I first left, I told someone I was waiting for a sign.Everything kept being swept out from under my feet.I was perpetually drowning.And eventually I was willing to sink to the bottom.No one owed me anything, but hey, can’t I be selfish once in a while?So I wanted some small pushback, proof that I was doing the right thing.”He brushed his thumb across her lips.“And then... there you were.Appearing out of the blue, and without any grace or warning.Just like you always do.So thank you.”He stepped back and gave her a wry smile.“I’m not gonna miss you.But I’ll never forget you.”

“Right back atcha.”

Finally she moved out of the way and let Howard say his goodbyes.

* * *

Packing was a more difficult task than she thought.For someone with no income, no family, and only one friend, Carol had amassed enough belongings to fill a small bedroom.It took her two days to sort through her crap and wheedle it down to a rucksack’s worth.

“You really heading for the hills?” Howard asked as he lifted a silk dress from the pile of discarded clothing.

“No matter how many times you offer, I can’t stick around.The timeline’s already in flux.If I at least head to Knowhere or Contraxia, no one’ll bat an eye at me.And I’ll be far enough out that Earth won’t have some crazy butterfly effect from my existence.” She ripped the dress from him and threw it back on the pile. “Or that’s what I hope.”

“Worth a shot,” he said, flopping onto the unmade bed. “Do you think he knew?”

“If he did, he sure pretended like he didn’t.”Carol hated that Howard insisted on having the same conversation over and over again.“If he knew we swiped the parts from my suit, he never would have left.”

“Yeah, but I think he kinda knew. Because after two months of nothing, there was no way we could’ve solved our biggest conundrum _overnight_.Not even I am that great of a genius.” He hitched one leg over the other and flicked his ankle.“I think he knows something we don’t.”

“Like what?” Carol answered causticly.

“Only time will tell.”

“Ha, funny.”

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I’m going to miss you.”

Carol smiled, before she leaned over and kissed his cheek.“You’re going to be too busy to even remember me.”

“One for the road?” he asked while pointing at his lips.

“Not a chance.”


	4. Living in the Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the audio follow the link to Dropbox:  
> [ Mp3 is here ](https://www.dropbox.com/s/uqe735a57o7l8qx/CCPart4.mp3?dl=0)

**FINAL** **PART** : **LIVING** **IN** **THE** **MOMENT**

_Gamma 1990_

The snow and ice crunched and then sizzled when it came in contact with Carol’s boots.As she stepped further, she left behind a trail of liquified footprints that immediately froze over.How people continued to overlook the crash site was anyone’s guess.Oil drilling, global warming, and any number of sources should have resulted in its excavation.

Though here it sat, almost 50 years on, and she was the only visitor.She popped the hatch and descended into the ship.Based on the tiny rodents scuttling at her feet, perhaps he wasn’t alone after all.It wouldn’t take much searching to find him.

Ejected from the pilot’s seat upon impact, his body lay flat against the frozen flooring.A breeze blew the snow in miniature flurries, building a drift along his right side.His eyelashes and lips glittered with frost, forever locking in his internal moisture.The man almost looked like a fairy tale character, encased in a coffin of ice crystals instead of glass.It wouldn’t take the magic of a kiss to wake him up; science would do the job in a few years time.

“I know I told Howard I’d let you be,” Carol said as she knelt down beside him.“But it’s been so long.I’ve spent years on my own, but that can’t compare to whatever you’re going through. I only hope that your dreams have been sweet.If they aren’t, then you better change that shit up, Steve.Fury isn’t coming for you for another decade or two.”She kicked out her legs so she could sit more comfortably.“Not that you know who he is.Or me.You don’t know who I am.And you probably never will.”Sucking in a breath of air to calm herself, she reached out and put her hand over his heart.“That’s why I came back, to make sure that P.E.G.A.S.E.U.S. never happened.Howard did the right thing, hiding the Tesseract away.Honestly he should have left it at the bottom of the ocean.But, we’ll never know when you’ll need it.Things might be different this go around.I’ve been keeping an eye on Thor, in the shadows of course.Things will hit the fan with Loki just like last time, but at least the Starks are okay.I kept them safe for you.And for Bucky.”

At the mention of his friend, his almost imperceptible heartbeat quickened beneath her touch.

“Way to not give me a heads up on that one.Always full of surprises.Maybe you can pull off one more.What I know for sure, is that the world is going to need you.Like it does every time.Because who wouldn’t love you once they’ve met you, humanity included?”She brought her hand back to her lap.“I’m going to try my best not to see you.The last thing I need is to fall in love with you...a what... third time?I can’t handle that level of rejection.”She sighed, and brought up her knees so she could rest her chin on them.“I’m just going to keep waiting things out in case Bruce builds that damn time machine again in 2023, so that I can head back home.Just between us, I kind of hope he doesn’t.Because that means none of this was in vain and we finally changed the future.If I can’t go back, by then at least I won’t have to keep a low profile anymore.These decades on the run have been even lonelier than the years I spent in space the first time.”

She sucked in air through her nose and then let it slide out of her mouth.A few more attempts, but no breathing exercise could calm her.She let out a horrendous wail that she’d been holding in.Her only solace was that no one could possibly hear it.The heaving continued so long that she had to heat her skin so the tears would melt.

“The last time I saw you, Howard kept asking why I was willing to wait.Why I would give up my suit to repair yours.And the answer wasn’t just because I _can_.It’s because I won’t return to my timeline.I refuse to be somewhere you aren’t.

“I lied about coming to the forties to help you.It was completely selfish of me.While you regretted staying, it wasn’t enough for you to reconsider your life.You had a good one with Peggy.”After wiping at her tears, she scooted closer to him.“I came back because I needed to see you one last time after returning the stones.Without them, I didn’t have any piece of you left.”She clutched her hand around nothing, the phantom charge of the soul stone practically vibrating in her grasp.“I loved you so much more than you could ever me.Things at Vormir couldn’t have gone another way.We both knew that.I wouldn’t have been enough of a sacrifice for you.But you didn’t give me the chance.You finally kissed me.The first one you’d ever initiated on your own.No one coaxed you into it.No one used it as a means of misdirection.It wasn’t even because I reminded you of someone.You kissed me because we both needed it.” Leaning over, she pressed her lips to his forehead.“Could you have been any crueler?You didn’t need to prove to the Soul Stone that you mattered most to me.No one else has ever mattered as much as you did.Not anyone before, or in between, or in the future. So, Steve Rogers,” she said, standing up, “here’s a little bit of advice.Don’t waste time.I know you’re a shy little bastard, but if you love someone don’t wait ‘til the last possible moment to tell them.Live a good life.I wish I could be there.But there won’t be a Carol Danvers this time.I won’t be the cause of your regrets.Nor will I be the cause of your death.”

She watched him a few moments longer before leaving.

* * *

_Gamma 2018_

Carol had kept her promise of a low profile, to the best of her abilities, which meant not at all.She spent the last part of the millennium straight into the new one on the other side of the galaxy.Taking on Lawson’s name, she referred to herself as Captain Mar-Vell.She liked the Captain bit, not just because of her rank, but because it kept a part of Steve with her at all times. 

While she never visited C-53, she hadn’t made a fuss when she’d run into Thor.It was inevitable since she’d been tailing him off and on for decades.When they’d both ended up on Sakaar, she’d given him a communication device in case of emergencies.He’d scoffed that he would ever be in such a predicament that he would call a stranger for help.She’d told him that he could dispose of it if he chose.

The implication was that if he didn’t need it, he should destroy it.That should have been obvious.Only an idiot would give away a super hero’s private number.

She touched down at a compound in upstate New York.Thanos’ destruction had just laid waste to the entire universe.Every planet she passed was either mourning or rioting.She knew that she shouldn’t have followed Thor’s beacon back to Earth.When she’d given it to him, she’d made a personal promise that she’d only help him out in the depths of the cosmos.Truthfully, she never thought he’d activate it.

Goose squirmed around in her knapsack, ready to be free now that they’d landed.Although Lawson had never completed her light engine on Earth, she’d still gotten involved with the Skrulls.Talos had become the friend that Steve had insisted he would, and Carol’s life had become even more of a mess than the first time.Not only had she spent decades running around space, she’d done most of it with a cat in tow.

Usually Goose preferred to stay home and bother Talos’ family, but when they’d heard Thor’s signal Carol couldn’t convince her that C-53 was no place for a Flerken.Giving up, Carol dropped the wriggling knapsack to the floor, leaving Goose to fend for herself while she entered the building.

“Where’s Thor?” she said, stomping her way into a lab as she followed the signal to its strongest point.

“Not here at the moment,” Natasha said, startled that a stranger had infiltrated the facility.“He gave us...technically him...” She pointed at someone standing by a lab table.Panels of privacy glass shielded a man from view.“He gave him your device as a back up plan.Don’t worry, Thor’s alive, he’s just off site.”

“Who the hell did he pawn that off on?I said _galactic_ _emergencies_ , not to just pass it around his friends.Heads up, this shit is happening everywhere.I’m sure he can handle Earth on his own.”Carol strode past the partition to the figure by the lab tables.He was dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, patiently waiting with her communicator since activating the signal days ago.His hair was overgrown and uncombed.She could see the hairs of his beard sticking every which way, even though he was facing the other direction. 

“Hey, Nat? This thing turned off for some rea...”

The instant he turned around an electric charge exploded across the room.Glass shattered and items flew off surfaces.Waves of heat and light roiled off Carol’s body and spilled across the floor.The sudden shift in temperature caused the air to churn chaotically, whipping his hair and flapping the fabric of his clothing. 

“I deactivated it.Name’s Captain Mar-Vell.”

At the sound of her voice, his expression quickly became one of wonder.His mouth twitched, as if he were preparing to ask a question but thought better of it.He settled on a wry smile.Fearlessly, he handed her the tiny, blinking disc of a beacon.Her flames lapped at his skin but did no damage.

“You’re who I’ve been waiting for?”He tipped his head slightly, gazing at her while remaining completely awestruck.“I’m Steve Rogers.”

“Here we go again.I’m screwed,” she whispered as she pocketed the device.

Actually, she wasn’t.She might be exactly where she needed to be.Once time travel got involved, the game changed.Alpha, Beta, Gamma.She’d been hopscotching her way across timelines.Logically, she’d stumble across the right one eventually.

“Screw it. What do I have to lose?” she said, reaching for the front of his shirt.

She yanked him flush to her body and used her other hand to hold the back of his neck.When she pulled him down for a kiss, he didn’t try to squirm away.Instead, he looped an arm around her waist and situated his other hand in her hair.Unexpectedly, she moaned, having waited a lifetime for this moment.They could have remained that way for an eternity ifNatasha hadn’t cleared her throat.

“Hell of a greeting, Carol Danvers.” He grinned shyly as she stared back at him in shock.“Took you long enough.Yours was the only voice I heard in seventy years.I was beginning to doubt you’d come.”

“You have no idea,” she said while threading her fingers through his hair.

They kissed again, ignoring Natasha’s protests.They’d also ignored Natasha’s yelp of surprise when a cat had leapt onto her shoulder to watch the commotion. 

Steve played with Carol’s sash, wrapping it around his hand so she couldn’t escape.“Perhaps,” he said, pausing to press his lips to her forehead, “third time’s the charm.”

* * *

_Gamma 2019_

Carol lazily stretched her arms.Someone had been banging on the door to her bedroom.Since she moved in to the Avengers Compound, she couldn’t picture who would knock in such a frenzied manner.Everyone except Steve would rudely barge in unannounced; he always knocked once, called her name, and then peeked in.

Even after two months of technically dating, he was still the shame shy Steve.Most days, she would question what circumstances had resulted in Carter’s assertiveness.If she hadn’t visited alternate timelines herself, she wouldn’t have believed them all to be the same man.At their current rate, Steve would die a virgin again.

“Hold on a minute,” she said, tugging down her sleep shirt to make sure it covered her underwear.“Come in.”

When she swung open the door, she was greeted by Steve throwing his arms around her.The momentum even carried her backward until she tripped on her bed.He pinned her to the mattress, and when she looked up at him it was clear that he was different than he’d been the evening prior.

His hair was tidier, his muscles larger and more defined, but his dazzling smile remained the same.She reached up and thumbed a faint, new scar that split his left eyebrow.

“Sorry ‘bout the entrance.I missed you,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her.

That was all she needed to hear.She’d been in his situation too many times to count: desperate to be loved in return, but receiving no such welcome.She blindly fired a photon blast in the direction of her bookshelf.It crashed to the floor, knocking the door shut in the process.

What occurred between Steve and her had been unexpectedly hurried.Before long they were exhausted, half-covered in her bedding, and beginning to nod off.Just like his eyebrow, his entire body was littered with scars and bruises.She traced a raised line that stretched from his shoulder to his waist.

“That feels kinda good,” he mumbled into her pillows.

She chuckled before stroking what must have been a puncture wound.“Probably should have checked your identity before we did that.You could be a Skrull for all I know.”

“Ask away.I’m confident I can take the heat.”

Without looking, he hooked her waist. He rolled and pulled her on top of him.She folded her arms against his chest, and then rested her chin on them.The entire time, she was hyper aware of metal touching her skin.The hand resting on her lower back was clad with a very specific ring.

“I’m sure you could,” she answered quietly.She wanted to be lost in the moment and the pure happiness that should have accompanied it.Instead, she was letting her overwhelming fear take over.Thanos had destroyed the stones by now.Steve could neither be retrieving nor returning one.“Why are you here?”

His expression began to shift from playful to melancholy.No matter how he tried to twitch his lip into a smile, it would wither back in place.

“Was it the soul stone again?” She closed her eyes.

“No.Not this time.”He combed at her tangled hair with his fingers.“Casualties among our allies outnumbered those on Thanos’ side.”He said it matter-a-factly, as if he were trained to give this answer.The truth was only palatable if he didn’t have to think about it.

“Tell me what I can do differently.”She tried in vain, but knew that things weren’t that simple.

“We still won.Maybe we always win.Maybe it’s the cost that changes.I’m not here to change the past.”He rocked his neck back and forth, cracking it. “None of us were ever meant to change the past.You know that better than anyone.We set up the time heist to change the present.”

He lifted her off him so that he could sit up.When he slid off the bed, he took the sheet with him to tie around his waist.She watched as he kicked her furniture out of the way.He didn’t even fully enter the hallway, merely opening the door and grabbing a briefcase from the floor before striding back to the bed.

“What are you planning?” she asked, crawling toward him.

He flipped the toggles and the briefcase sprung open.She half expected to see the stones glowing in all their terrifying glory.Nothing lit up.The case was nearly empty except for a canister full of swirling nano-mechanics.

“These,” he said, lifting the canister, “are what Bruce could salvage from your suit.They are encoded to your DNA, so they should seamlessly merge with your old one.”He placed it in her hand, but didn’t let go.“Carol, you’ve spent too long living in the past for someone else.With this you can make the necessary repairs.” After taking in a deep breath, he kissed her forehead.“You can return to the present.”

* * *

_Delta 2019_

Surprising, the difference half a century of technological advancements made.Even if she’d spent the years telling herself the suit was useless and to move on, she’d kept it.Mechanically folded in on itself, it had never been larger than a wrist watch.When she’d pulled it out of her nightstand, she’d told herself it was just a test.Maybe the parts Steve brought wouldn’t work.It had taken almost a year to fix Steven’s suit in the forties.

“Isn’t that a gross misuse of time travel?” Carol asked.

“Not really.We held a meeting.Once I explained that technically you aren’t part of our timeline, majority ruled in favor of getting you out.”

She’d lived far more than her fair share. If she only had four years left, she’d make the most of them.She’d spend them with the person she loved.

“So,” she said, thumbing at his jawbone, “you held a meeting making important life decisions for me.”She pinched firmly at his skin, causing his eye to water.“Sorry to disappoint, but I’m not going anywhere.You should have picked someone else to waste a trip on.I waited half a century to see you, I refuse to go somewhere you aren’t.”

“Don’t be so stubborn,” he said, drawing closer to her.“You think I want that either?”

“Then we agree that I’m staying.”She almost kissed him, but he pulled back and grinned.

“Final answer?”

“Yes.”

“Good.Glad we got that out of the way.For the record, I tried my best to convince you.”

“Don’t look so pleased with yourself.” Carol’s lips set into a hard line.

“Since you refuse to go home.And I refuse to let you stay.I have another offer.Completely off the books.”

“Don’t go breakin’ rules now, Captain Rogers.”

“Come with me.”

If she had learned anything through the years, it should’ve been this: Steve would never fail to surprise her.She filled her lungs with oxygen.Was there ever really a question?There had only ever been one right answer.There had only ever been one direction.Time and time again.No matter the path she took, her feet led her back to him.For the first time in one-hundred-and-seven years, he wanted to travel it with her.

Opening the canister, the particles spilled over the rim and onto the mattress.Immediately they found their way to the device.With a series of clicks, the suit unfurled itself between her and Steve.The metal gleamed, even the helmet shined, and numbers began playing across the watch face for the first time in decades.

“What about everyone here?” she asked, reaching out to touch the breast plate.“They won’t be able to handle my disappearance.”

“This was never your place to begin with.They may not have a Captain Marvel, but they still have a Colonel Danvers.”

“What about Steve?”The question had barely surfaced to the front of her mind.Her thoughts had been so clouded with the premise of possibility.The man sitting beside her had turned her world upside down in less than an hour.

“This is going to sound harsh, especially coming from me,” he said, pausing to laugh, “but he’ll get over it.If I managed to stop pining for Peggy, he can do the same.I made sure to show up before he’d become too attached to you.”

“How noble of you.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“I’m serious.He’s like a week away from caving and sleeping with you.After that, it’s you and you alone for the rest of his life.”

“For the rest of your life?” She took his hand in hers.“Til death do you part?”

“Not even then.” He gave her the most delicate kiss she’d ever had.It made her heart flutter in her chest.Carter had been passion.Beta Steve had been the elusive mesh of first love that always tangled with heartbreak.But the moment she’d kissed Gamma Steve in Bruce’s lab, she’d felt on the right track.With this kiss, she knew that if soulmate’s existed, the universe had finally brought them together.She would do anything to stay with him.

“Time travel doesn’t work like that.Won’t I just get shot back to my original timeline?”

Steve grinned.“You needed the suit fixed so you won’t go, in Scott’s words, ‘kablooey in the quantum realm.’But it’s not the thing taking you back.” He wiggled his eyebrows.“I am.”

She peered at him apprehensively.

“If I can carry around a briefcase, what makes you think,” he said, looping his arm over her hip, “I can’t just hold on tight?”

Then he swiped all of the tech gear off the bed and laid Carol back down.

* * *

She told him she’d need a day to get her affairs in order.As much as she would have liked to run off with him that second, she knew that wasn’t possible.None of her companions deserved that.Of course, they couldn’t know that she was time traveling either.That would have massively screwed over their chances of success in the future.

She simply told them being an Avenger wasn’t going to work out.Solo was more her style.Since she’d only been with them a matter of months, none of them took the news too badly.The only one she told a version of the truth to was Gamma Steve.She’d asked to meet him in the forest behind the compound.

“How much do you actually remember from the ice,” Carol asked coldly.

“That you love me.” He began to nuzzle into her, but she dodged out of the way.

“But do you remember the entire conversation, everything I said?”

“Mostly.”

“You understand that I don’t belong here.”

“Parallel universe or something sci-fi like that. Right?”

“Jeez, this would have been easier in a letter.” She wiped her hands down her face and sighed with exhaustion.“But you deserve better than that.”

“Better than being the last to find out you’re leaving.Yes. I do.” His tone was sharper.

She unleashed the speech she’d been practicing for the past twenty minutes.“Steve.I’m not from here. No I’m not an alien even if I met Thor in space.I can’t explain now; I wish I could.But I’ve overstayed my welcome.”She practically growled before calming herself.“I know this doesn’t make sense, and for that I’m sorry.But I have to go, and I wish you the best.You really did deserve a world without me this go around.I just keep messing up no matter what I try.”

He crossed his arms and sighed.“I spent six years waiting for you.I had access to S.H.I.E.L.D.’s data and J.A.R.V.I.S.Carol Danvers is a decorated Colonel in the Air Force.She’s also in her fifties.Bucky maintained all his memories. You were there, just like you said you were.Tony likes to complain about how his father knew me. But he mentions stories that I know didn’t happen.I’m a living example that time isn’t what we think it is.”He fixed a bit of her fringe that had flopped in front of her eyes.“And so are you.” 

He snagged his phone from his pocket.With a small flick, the screen became a floating hologram.He cycled through a series of files until he opened a particular image.The photograph was black and white, and the quality had not only degraded over time but had obviously been terrible when originally taken.Carol recognized it as one of the test photos Howard had taken with the camera pen he’d designed for Peggy.He’d regularly snuck up on Jarvis and taken goofy pictures until he’d perfected the unit. 

However, this was an image Carol didn’t know existed. He’d secretly taken a picture of her with Steve.She’d been dancing with him.His hand had been clutching her thigh, her hair had been grazing the floor, her arm had been reaching into the air.What struck her most, was how happy she’d been.There was nothing forced nor falsified about the smile she’d worn.

Steve had been caught in the midst of turning his head.His expression had been blurred.Combined with the length of his hair and the beginnings of a beard, he would have been unrecognizable to most people.

“There is so much media with me.Tons of old war videos.Some promotional ones with terrible acting.Some frontline footage of me and the Howling Commandos.Whenever I’m near Bucky, or I’m caught looking at my cameo of Peg, I always look happy.But do you know what was missing?” He cocked an eyebrow.“No one has ever looked back at me like that.Not the way you are looking at him.The second I found this in the depths of the Stark archives...I knew it had to be you.Though you certainly looked different when we finally met.”He ran a finger along the buzzed hair at the base of her skull.

“Not a fan of the coveralls?”

“I’m a fan of everything.”When he dragged her into a kiss that she could feel even in the tips of toes, she allowed it.“Just because you’re leaving now, who’s to say I won’t see you again.”

Silently, she nodded in agreement.No one could tell what the future would hold.

“I wish you all the best, Captain Rogers.”She took his hand in hers and squeezed it.“Take good care of Goose.May your life not be FUBAR this time.”

He huffed, and then laughed.“Let’s hope not.”

* * *

“You ready?” Steve asked.

He and Carol were fully dressed in their time travel suits.She heard his voice through her ear piece even though he was standing directly in front of her.They were locked together in a tight embrace, but he’d zip tied his ankles to hers for good measure.Then to be extra secure, she’d knotted her sash over both their waists.The suitcase he’d initially brought was carabiner-ed to his belt.

“This better work.” She pressed her helmet against his chest.“I can’t lose you again.”

“I won’t let that happen,” he reassured her.

“Before we go, I need you to tell me something at least once.So that I know I’m making the right decision.”

“Anything.”

“Steve.” She released one arm so that she could reach up and disengage her helmet.It swooped back over her head in a fluid motion.She pressed his so that it would do that same.“If you don’t know what it is, then I can’t go with you.”

“I haven’t said it to you before?”He raised one eyebrow.

“Only once.” Now wasn’t the time, but she could feel tears ready to spill.“It’s been so long; I can’t even remember what it sounds like anymore.So tell me now, because if this fails, I doubt I’ll have another chance.”

“I’m going to make up for it.I’ll tell you everyday.Every morning, every evening.Every moment just because I can.”He slid his arm away from her back so that he could wipe away a tear trailing down her cheek.“Carol, I love you.I’ve never been more in love with someone than I am with you.”

“Thank God.”She looped her arms around his neck so she could kiss him.“I’ve loved you as long as I can remember.”

It was his turn to re-engage their helmets.Then he hugged her closely.“You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

She tensed as they suddenly began dropping through time and space.Even though she’d done this before, she closed her eyes.If something tore them apart, she didn’t want to have to see it happen. Like a child playing hide and seek, but only covering her face, she felt secure.She didn’t even realize it was over until she heard someone speak.

“You slick son of a bitch.”The voice wasn’t one Carol recognized.

She stood stock still, eyes still closed.Steve was already bustling around and undoing all of the bonds fastening them together.Finally, she opened her eyes and looked at the scene before her.

They were standing on a dais similar to the one she had fled on so many decades ago.Wind rustled through the trees cloaking the area.Bruce was manning a mobile switchboard just like he had in her timeline.Next to him were two men, one vaguely familiar, the other completely foreign.The one with a prosthetic arm must have been Bucky.He was younger than he’d been in Beta, and healthier than he’d been in Gamma.He loosely held a bundle of fabric to his chest.

“Watch your language, Sam,” Bucky said, swatting at the other man.

Sam, as he was apparently called, stared up at Carol.“So this her, Cap?”

“Kind of.” Steve leapt from the platform and then turned around and offered to help Carol.His hands held firmly to her torso as he easily lifted her down.

“What does ‘kind of’ mean?This your wife or not?”

“Sorry,” he said to Carol. “They were snapped.As you can expect, they don’t understand a damn thing about time travel.Forgive them.”

She was half listening to him, half staring at the thing in Bucky’s arms.He had such a commanding presence that his gentle swaying looked out of character.The motion wasn’t by any means organic; he seemed to be keeping a rhythm.As she moved closer, she could hear that he was humming under his breath.

An orange blur leapt from a hidden vantage on Bruce’s table.Goose dashed in front of Bucky and raised her hackles.The cat appeared to be questioning Carol’s presence, before looking to Steve for guidance.He was too busy with Sam, so she sniffed at her boot.Finding the answer she was looking for, Goose plodded out of the way and let her approach.

“This is Carol before we got married,” Steve continued explaining to Sam.“Well, I guess we haven’t got married yet.But I hope we will again.Damnit.This wasn’t the way I planned on bringing it up.Or asking technically.It’s a little early for that. Carol...Carol?”

She was standing directly in front of Bucky.Steve tentatively touched a hand against her lower back.

“I didn’t want you to feel guilty,” he whispered into her ear.“In case you chose not to come.”

She held her arms out so that Bucky could hand her the swaddled infant. The baby made incomprehensible gurgling noises when she was smiled down at.Just like meeting Steve had felt _correct_ , holding her daughter had felt _perfect_. Unexpected, but perfect none the less.

“She’s beautiful,” she said, admiring the blue eyes that mirrored Steve’s.

“She’s yours,” he added, resting his chin on her shoulder so he could watch the baby.

“She’s _ours_ ,” she amended.“From now on, no more secrecy.Complete transparency, even if it means not sparing my feelings.If we have a kid, I need to know things like that.”The last thing she needed was Steve growing further and further toward a Carter like personality of deception.As attractive as she may have found that, she was a parent now.She needed to prioritize her wants.

“Didn’t you want me to pull off ‘one more surprise?’ Can’t beat this, can you?”His eyes sparkled when he spoke.

“I was talking about saving the universe, not making me practically piss myself from shock.”She looked back up at Steve.“Did we plan on having her?” she asked, rocking the baby for emphasis.“Did you want kids?”

“Of course,” he said with a smile. “I’ve always wanted a family.”

Bruce, Sam, and Bucky stealthily slunk away to give them privacy.

“I,” Carol started, but then stopped.“You probably already know the answer if we’re married.”

“It’s ok.I want to hear it.This is new for you; I get it.”

She fell into the same relaxed and easy sway she’d watched Bucky do.“I wasn’t close with my father.But I made a friend in the Air Force.She and her daughter changed my outlook on parenthood a little bit.”

Steve reached down to tickle the baby’s chin; she gurgled louder in response.“Then why did you wait?”

“Never the right time or place.”Carol glanced at him from beneath her eyelashes.“Or person.”

“But it is now?” he asked.

She interrupted, “What’s her name?”

“Wendy.”

She hadn’t heard the name spoken aloud in almost a century.Even if she didn’t have the memories of it, she was standing next to the man she would learn to trust implicitly.She would love him enough to marry him.She’d love him enough to start a family with him.

These were all things that she never even imagined when she’d met Steve in all of his iterations.She’d loved him, sure enough, however the feeling had never gone past loving and protecting at all costs.They’d been willing to sacrifice their lives for each other, sometimes literally, and other times not so literally.

But here was the first person she’d wanted to live _for_. Live _with_. Live _alongside_.Not ‘til death do them part.This was about living.This was about the present.

“Definitely the right person.”She nodded affirmatively before giving him a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So our little time-traveling tale of love comes to a close.  
> If you follow the “Next Work” in this series link (when I post it), you’ll find a special Christmas episode. It’ll cover what happened in Beta 2022 and a smidge of Delta 2023.


End file.
